nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organisation #be #case

Self-employement

Correct your spelling

Self-employment

improves the

indivudual's

Correct your spelling

individual's

leadership quality. In

this

generation

Add a comma

generation,

show examples

self-employed

youngesters

Correct your spelling

youngsters

are more than people who

work

for a company.

This

essay will talk about the reason behind

this

situation and the demerits of self-employment.

Firstly

, teenagers choose to be self-employed because they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

find jobs based on their

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

.The education they pursue and the company that the student

work

Correct subject-verb agreement

works

show examples

Change preposition

for is

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

completely irrelevant.

In addition

, the majority of the people are unemployed because the organisations recruit less number of

indivuduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

and provide low

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

For example

, a biology major student working as an employee in a BPO sector

who's

Correct your spelling

whose

show examples

career is completely different from their

work

nature. The student worked in that because they were unemployed and

was

Correct subject-verb agreement

were

show examples

not able to find

job

Add an article

a job

show examples

based on their

graduated

Replace the word

graduate

show examples

degree.

Secondly

, the demerits of being an

enterpreneur

Correct your spelling

entrepreneur

increases

Change the verb form

increase

show examples

the stress factor

due to

the pressure

that is

built starting from searching

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

best

clint

Correct your spelling

client

show examples

to setting up a

work place

Correct your spelling

workplace

show examples

On the other hand

, a freelancer

also

undergoes financial loss when they invest a lot of money in developing a business but

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not find a profitable return from the investment that they made.

To conclude

, self-

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

can

reduse

Correct your spelling

reduce

the rate of unemployed teens in

this

society. I believe that freelancing has its own drawbacks

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

does not provide a stable income.

Submitted by insighttribez on Fri Jul 05 2024

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language

Work on grammatical accuracy and spelling. Pay attention to words like 'self-employment' and 'entrepreneur.'

coherence

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and logical flow. For example, link the paragraph discussing reasons more clearly to the one discussing disadvantages.

task response

Expand on examples with more specific details to strengthen task achievement. For instance, you mentioned a biology major working in a BPO—elaborate on how this affects their motivation or job satisfaction.

task achievement

The essay topic is clearly addressed, and the structure is easy to follow.

task response

You have provided both reasons for the rise in self-employment and its disadvantages, which covers the prompt well.

coherence

The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay and provide a good overview of the argument.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

self-employment
freelancing
entrepreneurship
autonomy
financial stability
work-life balance
financial insecurity
lack of support
resources
long working hours
uncertain income
job security

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nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

The plans show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year.

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These dats people are using the internet for shopping, work and to communicate with others without the need for face to face meetings. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that exercise is key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important Discuss both view and give your opinion.