The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

#bar #persons #job #type #sex #australia #year #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The bar diagram displays the

employemnt

Correct your spelling

employment

distribution by gender and type of career in Australia in the previous year.

Overall

Linking Words

it is immediately evident that more males than

females

Use synonyms

occupy the highest place in the various job

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

with the exception of Professionals and Clericals. 900% of males are Tradespeople representing the highest place for men in the different careers

whereas

Linking Words

a little less than half of

this

Linking Words

figure are labourers at 400%. Clerical is the next

popular

Correct quantifier usage

most popular

show examples

job performed by men at 850%. Whilst 600% of males are Managers, approximately 650% are Professionals.

Similarly

Linking Words

whereas

Linking Words

550% of men are

into

Change preposition

show examples

Production, just above 500% of them are Semi-professionals. Turning to

females

Use synonyms

Clericals

Fix the agreement mistake

clerical

show examples

was the most popular profession among the job categories with women occupying the highest place

nearing

Replace the word

nearly

show examples

1000%.

By contrast

Linking Words

, Tradespeople and Production which had the same number of

females

Use synonyms

at 100%

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

the least popular among

this

Linking Words

gender. 250% of

females

Use synonyms

worked as labourers whilst 50% less and 100% more were Managers and Semi-professionals respectively.

Submitted by nmaureen03 on Fri Jul 05 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words females with synonyms.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

168 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Employment figures
Sectors
Significant disparities
Gender balance
Skewed
Trends
Patterns
Dominant
Inferred
Labor market
Year-on-year comparison
Insights
Implications

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The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore, they shoud be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school . To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company or organization. Might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people say that we must send our parents to old age home when they reach 60. However other think that they must be taken care at home. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.