Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

#say #countries #trade #health #education

Unfortunately, our world is very unequal. Many

countries

have low levels of welfare, education, and healthcare. Some people believe that rich

countries

should help poor

countries

while

others adhere to the contrary opinion. I support the first thesis, we will discuss

this

social issue

further

Firstly

, we will consider the first point of view. Rich

countries

benefit from

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

trade with the poor because indigent

countries

can provide cheap workforce and land.

Therefore

companies want to move their production

Change preposition

show examples

poor

countries

so that the latter will receive scads of money, investment

Change preposition

show examples

logistics, and workplaces for numerous indigenous young adults.

Moreover

, the rich can invest in

resourse

Correct your spelling

resource

resources

extraction industries

thus

they help the poor to build

minings

Fix the agreement mistake

mining

show examples

and oil wells. Rich consumers are satisfied

also

inasmuch as

prices

Correct article usage

the prices

show examples

of products will reduced.

Also

enterpreneurs

Correct your spelling

entrepreneurs

are interested in education for the locals because they are future

quailified

Correct your spelling

qualified

workers potentially.

Secondly

, we will consider the second point of view. Foreign capital causes a pernicious influence on the local markets

hence

the locals cannot move on toward a free market and a liberal democracy.

For example

, China puts in tremendous money in some African economies,

such

as Zimbabwe, Congo,

Guinea

Correct word choice

and Guinea

show examples

, but these states are very unsuccessful even on the African continent.

Besides

, many

researches

Correct your spelling

researchers

show examples

points out that material assistance from the USA, the IMF, and the UK

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

useless or even harmful in perspective. In conclusion, I opine that undeveloped

countries

need assistance, but the rich should provide technologies and high culture.

Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on Fri Jul 05 2024

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task achievement

Enhance your introduction to provide a clearer thesis statement. This will set the stage for your arguments more effectively.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific instances of successful or unsuccessful aid that could strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Be cautious with complex sentences, ensuring that each idea is clearly conveyed. This will help improve clarity and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Recheck grammar and spelling, as minor errors may distract the reader. For example, 'resource' is misspelled as 'resourse' and 'qualified' as 'quailified'.

coherence cohesion

Develop more balanced paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence for stronger coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task by discussing both points of view and providing reasons for your opinion.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids readability.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care about them. Others believe that there are better ways to show that we care about them. *Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Does working at home have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views!

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication have a negative impact on young people’s writing and reading skills. Do you agree or disagree?