Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with trade, health and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.
Unfortunately, our world is very unequal. Many
countries
have low levels of welfare, education, and healthcare. Some people believe that rich Use synonyms
countries
should help poor Use synonyms
countries
, Use synonyms
while
others adhere to the contrary opinion. I support the first thesis, we will discuss Linking Words
this
social issue Linking Words
further
.
Linking Words
Firstly
, we will consider the first point of view. Rich Linking Words
countries
benefit from Use synonyms
a
trade with the poor because indigent Correct article usage
apply
countries
can provide cheap workforce and land. Use synonyms
Therefore
companies want to move their production Linking Words
in
poor Change preposition
to
countries
so that the latter will receive scads of money, investment Use synonyms
of
logistics, and workplaces for numerous indigenous young adults. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, the rich can invest in Linking Words
resourse
extraction industries Correct your spelling
resource
resources
thus
they help the poor to build Linking Words
minings
and oil wells. Rich consumers are satisfied Fix the agreement mistake
mining
also
inasmuch as Linking Words
prices
of products will reduced. Correct article usage
the prices
Also
, Linking Words
enterpreneurs
are interested in education for the locals because they are future Correct your spelling
entrepreneurs
quailified
workers potentially.
Correct your spelling
qualified
Secondly
, we will consider the second point of view. Foreign capital causes a pernicious influence on the local markets Linking Words
hence
the locals cannot move on toward a free market and a liberal democracy. Linking Words
For example
, China puts in tremendous money in some African economies, Linking Words
such
as Zimbabwe, Congo, Linking Words
Guinea
, but these states are very unsuccessful even on the African continent. Correct word choice
and Guinea
Besides
, many Linking Words
researches
points out that material assistance from the USA, the IMF, and the UK Correct your spelling
researchers
are
useless or even harmful in perspective.
In conclusion, I opine that undeveloped Correct subject-verb agreement
is
countries
need assistance, but the rich should provide technologies and high culture.Use synonyms
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on
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task achievement
Enhance your introduction to provide a clearer thesis statement. This will set the stage for your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific instances of successful or unsuccessful aid that could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Be cautious with complex sentences, ensuring that each idea is clearly conveyed. This will help improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Recheck grammar and spelling, as minor errors may distract the reader. For example, 'resource' is misspelled as 'resourse' and 'qualified' as 'quailified'.
coherence cohesion
Develop more balanced paragraphs with a clear topic sentence, supporting details, and a concluding sentence for stronger coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task by discussing both points of view and providing reasons for your opinion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids readability.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example