The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.

The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they gave birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of Australian
women
delivering their firstborns in six age groups in the
years
1966, 1986 and 2006.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the age of
women
giving
birth
to their first kid is going older over the
period
of forty
years
.
According to
the data,
women
aged 19-24
years
old were at the highest
rate
in 1966, at 60%. The
rate
,
however
, gradually decreased until it reached below 30% forty
years
later.
Similarly
, teenage
women
(under 19
years
old) showed a downward trend throughout the
period
as well, from around 35% in 1966 to below 15%
at the end
of the
period
.
On the other hand
, the
rate
of mature
women
(aged from 30 to 34
years
old) giving
birth
for their time consistently grew by 30% in four decades.
This
pattern
also
applied to the
rate
of giving
birth
for females between 34 and 39
years
old, albeit not as much as those aged from 30 to 34
years
old, by around
20
Correct article usage
a 20
show examples
% increase for over
forty
Correct your spelling
40
years
. The
rate
of
women
aged 25 to 30
years
old delivering their first babies,
however
, climbed up from around 35% in 1966 to 50% two decades later, before it experienced a downfall in the next twenty
years
by around 12%.
Furthermore
, the
rate
of giving
birth
for
women
over 40 was consistently the lowest compared to the other age groups throughout the
period
.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, years, birth, period, rate with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic changes
  • first-time mothers
  • age bracket
  • fertility rate
  • childbearing age
  • socioeconomic factors
  • educational attainment
  • healthcare advancements
  • family planning
  • societal norms
  • trend analysis
  • delaying motherhood
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