IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many countries are experiencing serious problems with their environment, with pollution of their land, water and air. What are these problems and how might they be reduced?

#countries #environment #pollution #land #water #air
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Ecological problems, associated with
pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
show examples
 of natural resources, are becoming one of the primary issues of many nations. The main problem
this
Linking Words
 causes is
Correct article usage
the rick
show examples
rick
Correct your spelling
risk
show examples
 of health diseases and the most viable solution is to inform people about
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of it. The principal issue related to
pollution
Correct article usage
the pollution
show examples
 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is
caused
Verb problem
apply
show examples
harm for
organism
Add an article
the organism
an organism
show examples
 of human. Daily consumption of polluted
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
garbage
water
Use synonyms
 is not
rare
Add an article
a rare
show examples
 situation. The result of
this
Linking Words
 is
water
Use synonyms
 with bad quality entering the body, which will be
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
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 throughout the organs and cause damage
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 blood, kidneys and heart.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 survey conducted in India found that
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of men and women with health problems
resulted
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
 using dirty
water
Use synonyms
 increased by 12% in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 year. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should launch a publicity campaign in schools to educate
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
 generation about
dangers
Correct article usage
the dangers
show examples
 of
depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion
show examples
 of unhealthy
water
Use synonyms
.
Childrens
Correct your spelling
Children
show examples
 in school should be taught about how to distinguish what is healthy and harmful in terms of natural drinks. They are
also
Linking Words
 likely to teach their parents about things they learned at
scholl
Correct your spelling
school
 and adults will
also
Linking Words
 be influenced by their initiative.
For example
Linking Words
, school kids in Japan were taught about the consequences of using
such
Linking Words
 type of
water
Use synonyms
 and it resulted in a 5% decrease in case of health problems. In conclusion, environmental pollution is a major issue that can result in people diseases caused by
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
 with
bad
Add an article
the bad
a bad
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it can be
addrassed
Correct your spelling
addressed
 through educating people about the dangers.
Submitted by Aqxniet on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent grammatical accuracy and use of complex sentence structures to improve coherence. For example, consider rephrasing sentences and correcting minor errors (e.g., "rick" should be "risk," "spreaded" should be "spread").
task achievement
Expand on some points with more relevant and specific examples to further support your arguments. The current examples are helpful, but you can add more details to enhance your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The main issue and solution are addressed effectively, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ecosystem
  • sustainable
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • emissions
  • deforestation
  • conservation
  • biodiversity
  • regulatory standards
  • composting
  • urban sprawl
  • green technologies
  • environmental degradation
  • waste management
  • pollutants
  • non-biodegradable
What to do next:
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