Some people think that reading stories in books is better than watching TV or playing games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some individuals
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that reading stories in books rather than watching television or playing games is far more beneficial for
children
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
others argue that there should be a balance of
both
Use synonyms
and free time for
children
Use synonyms
should solely be for entertainment purposes of their choices provided that it is suitable for their age. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will discuss
both
Use synonyms
perspectives and argue that
while
Linking Words
educational resources found in books are very rewarding, particularly
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Use synonyms
and teenagers, other entertainment options are crucial, leading to improved social skills and new relationships. On one hand, reading has a wide range of benefits in all sectors of life. It offers valuable information and facts to everyone depending on the genre, but even novels provide important skills to
both
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
and teenagers.
For instance
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
who read novels and stories consistently tend to be a lot more social and interactive,
possibley
Correct your spelling
possibly
leading to better academic grades and stronger friendships.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some are interested in educational books to
further
Linking Words
develop their skills in science subjects at school, which helps contribute to better futuristic goals and
overall
Linking Words
levels of intelligence.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
children
Use synonyms
are strangled to their devices all day, resulting in sedentary lifestyles and poor communication with others.
Although
Linking Words
it can be seen as a reward after studying, finishing
homeowork
Correct your spelling
homework
, and completing household chores,
restriction
Add an article
the restriction
a restriction
show examples
is necessary because excessive use of video games and television shows is
highely
Correct your spelling
highly
likely to cause serious mental health issues.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are new educational platforms released, helping
children
Use synonyms
study consistently without boredom and distractions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is important that a balance of
both
Use synonyms
is vital to achieve positive effects with limited consequences. In conclusion, technology and electronics have started affecting everyone enormously,
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
children
Use synonyms
, possibly leading to severe
repurcussions
Correct your spelling
repercussions
,
such
Linking Words
as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of interaction and academic performance.
However
Linking Words
, most of these can be significantly combated by setting specific time windows on these devices and the usage
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
newly developed technologies that combine education
along with
Linking Words
having fun.
Submitted by ayatalsabahe on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is good. However, make sure to clearly state your own stance in the introduction and conclusion to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Try to avoid minor spelling and grammatical errors. Proofreading before submission can help catch these errors.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next by using linking words or phrases. This can improve the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and provide more specific instances to strengthen your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your arguments effectively.
complete response
You have done well in presenting a balanced view, discussing both perspectives comprehensively.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is fairly strong, with distinct paragraphs addressing different points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • imagination stimulation
  • linguistic skills
  • audiovisual stimuli
  • interactive learning
  • digital literacy
  • solitary engagement
  • narrative comprehension
  • educational content
  • screen time
  • attention span
  • multimedia experiences
  • well-rounded development
  • motor skills
  • traditional versus modern
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: