IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

As housing is a basic need for people, the government should provide free housing for everyone who cannot afford it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government
Nowadays, many
people
 are struggling to find a place to stay. In fact, many
people
 believe free housing should be provided for everyone who cannot afford it. I firmly disagree with
this
 opinion.
Firstly
, if governments started to provide free housing to everyone who is struggling, it would not be sustainable. Indeed, in the initial period of the solution, it might seem a good idea.
However
, after the initial period,
people
 could not push themselves to earn more money. They could become less and less productive because what they need is already given to them.
Furthermore
, laziness could push
people
 to rely on the government and some of them could even quit their jobs and become unemployed.
Moreover
, the government's funds are not unlimited. If the government started to provide too much housing, it would spend less money on other needs,
such
 as healthcare, education or public transportation.
Thus
,
this
 would lead to even more problems for the society.
For example
, by investing less money in healthcare,
people
 wouldn't benefit from the latest medical devices, which are necessary for the right diagnosis and the best treatment. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that governments should provide free housing for
people
 in need because
people
 would probably take advantage of that and because the funds are limited.
Instead
, governments could help those who are struggling by finding new jobs for them.
Submitted by chi63hi on

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task achievement
You could include stronger and more varied examples to back up your points. Currently, the examples are more hypothetical and general.
task achievement
The first body paragraph could benefit from more concrete details about how government-provided housing may lead to decreased productivity and potential unemployment.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows more smoothly by using appropriate linking words and phrases. Transitions can help the reader follow your argument better.
coherence cohesion
Relate the points made in each paragraph more directly to the essay question. Sometimes, the connection can be more clearly stated.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with a sensible progression of ideas. The introduction effectively sets the context, and the conclusion aptly sums up the main points.
task achievement
The main ideas are clear and comprehensive, forming a solid foundation for the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively reinforces the main points made in the essay and succinctly wraps up the argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social safety net
  • Economic stability
  • Unemployment benefits
  • Financial security
  • Economic downturn
  • Poverty
  • Stimulate the economy
  • Job seeking
  • Dependency culture
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Government expenditure
  • Labor market
  • Fraud
  • Welfare abuse
  • Quality of life
  • Budget constraints
  • Economic strain
  • Public funds
  • Employment incentives
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