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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information and predictions regarding the change in percentage of the population aged 65 and above in three countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table gives information about the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who are 65 years and over in
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 (
Canada
Use synonyms
,
Germany
Use synonyms
 and the
UK
Use synonyms
) in 1988, 2000 and an estimated percentage for 2030. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was an increase in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and above in all
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
.
Germany
Use synonyms
 had the highest percentage of old
people
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 throughout the period. Despite
this
Linking Words
, all
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 were projected to have increases in their population by 2030. In 1988,
Germany
Use synonyms
 had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals aged 65 years and over.
This
Linking Words
 figure was 20.45% which rose by 5% in 2000
while
Linking Words
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 had only 14.23% of
people
Use synonyms
 aged over 65.
Canada
Use synonyms
 had the second-highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and over with 16.32%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, between 1998 and 2000, the proportion of old
people
Use synonyms
 increased in all
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
, but only
Canada
Use synonyms
 and
Germany
Use synonyms
 saw considerable increases of around 4% and 5% respectively.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the
UK
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable at just under 15% in both years. In 2030, it is expected that the population in all
three
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
 will increase by more than 5.5%. The percentage is projected to reach 30.42% in
Germany
Use synonyms
, 26.35 in
Canada
Use synonyms
 and 20.35 in the
UK
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, three, countries, canada, germany, uk, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 5 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • population aged 65 and above
  • current figures
  • evident trends
  • patterns
  • increases
  • decreases
  • rates of change
  • growth rate
  • predictions
  • future changes
  • significant shifts
  • figures
  • summarize
  • comparison
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