Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts #music

It is contended that

government

financial expenditure should be managed on particular

matter

Fix the agreement mistake

matters

show examples

than

Rephrase

rather than

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non-important things like arts, entertainment, and related

area

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areas

show examples

This

essay will elaborate

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show examples

the reasons why I staunchly endorse

with

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apply

show examples

the argument, including the explanation

why

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of why

show examples

the

government

money should be spent on important things

such

as educational

purpose

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purposes

show examples

and public transport infrastructure development. First and foremost,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education is

Correct article usage

a citizen

show examples

citizen

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citizen's

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fundamental needs that should be properly provided by the

government

. Education is

long-term

Correct article usage

a long-term

show examples

investments

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investment

show examples

for either individual life quality or national development.

For instance

, building educational infrastructure from elementary school to university level and upgrading teacher's quality are much more important than other aspects.

Therefore

, when school quality

guaranteed

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is guaranteed

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, it will produce a student with high skills and

competences

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competencies

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Subsequently

beside

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besides

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the educational aspect, developing public

transportation

infrastructure has many advantages for

citizen

needs.

Transportation

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

daily

needs

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need

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for people,

for instance

, people use these

transporatation

Correct your spelling

transportation

for commuting to school,

office

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the office

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, or visiting their friends.

In addition

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

transportation

will reduce the pollution

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

caused by private vehicles.

Furthermore

, if the

government

spending

Wrong verb form

spends

show examples

a lot of money

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show examples

this

aspect, it will engage the

citizen

appreciation.

For example

, the strategic way to

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

the national expenditure for

this

purpose are building a new train station,

bus

Correct word choice

and bus

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stop, renovating the old

infrasturcture

Correct your spelling

infrastructure

, digitalizing the

transportation

services, and much more. In conclusion, I firmly agree with the notion that

government

money should be spent on the national priorities of

citizen

needs rather than for entertainment

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

Submitted by k a l l a on Sat Jul 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay presents a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion, aim to enhance the logical flow between ideas in each paragraph. Ensure each paragraph naturally progresses to the next, maintaining cohesiveness.

task achievement

Ensure to include relevant and concrete examples to support your arguments. This helps in illustrating your points more vividly and makes your argument stronger.

coherence cohesion

You have successfully provided a clear introduction and a summarizing conclusion which reinforces your stance, enhancing cohesion.

task achievement

The essay covers the task response adequately, presenting a viewpoint and justifying it with reasons aligned with the task prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

250 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many products taht we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

Art classes, such as painting and drawing , are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Aircraft have been increasingly used to transport fruits and vegetables to some countries where such plants hardly grow or are out of season. Some people consider it a good trend, but some people oppose it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?