Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is contended that
government
financial expenditure should be managed on particular
matter
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matters
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than
Rephrase
rather than
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non-important things like arts, entertainment, and related
area
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areas
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.
This
essay will elaborate
to
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on
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the reasons why I staunchly endorse
with
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apply
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the argument, including the explanation
why
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of why
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the
government
money should be spent on important things
such
as educational
purpose
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purposes
show examples
and public transport infrastructure development. First and foremost,
the
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apply
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education is
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a citizen
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citizen
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citizen's
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fundamental needs that should be properly provided by the
government
. Education is
long-term
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a long-term
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investments
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investment
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for either individual life quality or national development.
For instance
, building educational infrastructure from elementary school to university level and upgrading teacher's quality are much more important than other aspects.
Therefore
, when school quality
guaranteed
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is guaranteed
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, it will produce a student with high skills and
competences
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competencies
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.
Subsequently
,
beside
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besides
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the educational aspect, developing public
transportation
infrastructure has many advantages for
citizen
needs.
Transportation
is
main
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the main
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daily
needs
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need
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for people,
for instance
, people use these
transporatation
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transportation
for commuting to school,
office
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the office
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, or visiting their friends.
In addition
,
the
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apply
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transportation
will reduce the pollution
that
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apply
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caused by private vehicles.
Furthermore
, if the
government
spending
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spends
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a lot of money
in
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on
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this
aspect, it will engage the
citizen
appreciation.
For example
, the strategic way to
spending
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spend
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the national expenditure for
this
purpose are building a new train station,
bus
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and bus
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stop, renovating the old
infrasturcture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
, digitalizing the
transportation
services, and much more. In conclusion, I firmly agree with the notion that
government
money should be spent on the national priorities of
citizen
needs rather than for entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
.
Submitted by k a l l a on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay presents a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion, aim to enhance the logical flow between ideas in each paragraph. Ensure each paragraph naturally progresses to the next, maintaining cohesiveness.
task achievement
Ensure to include relevant and concrete examples to support your arguments. This helps in illustrating your points more vividly and makes your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully provided a clear introduction and a summarizing conclusion which reinforces your stance, enhancing cohesion.
task achievement
The essay covers the task response adequately, presenting a viewpoint and justifying it with reasons aligned with the task prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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