Some people believe that government money should be spent on important things than arts such as painting and music. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is contended that
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

financial expenditure should be managed on particular
matter
Fix the agreement mistake
matters

It seems that matter may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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than
Rephrase
rather than

There may be an adverb issue here.

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non-important things like arts, entertainment, and related
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas

It seems that area may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will elaborate
to
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on

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the reasons why I staunchly endorse
with
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apply

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the argument, including the explanation
why
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of why

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the
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

money should be spent on important things
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes

It seems that purpose may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and public transport infrastructure development. First and foremost,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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education is
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Correct article usage
a citizen
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Correct article usage
a citizen

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citizen
Change noun form
citizen's
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fundamental needs that should be properly provided by the
government
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Education is
long-term
Correct article usage
a long-term

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investments
Fix the agreement mistake
investment

It seems that investments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for either individual life quality or national development.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, building educational infrastructure from elementary school to university level and upgrading teacher's quality are much more important than other aspects.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when school quality
guaranteed
Add a missing verb
is guaranteed

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, it will produce a student with high skills and
competences
Correct your spelling
competencies

The word competences doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
beside
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besides

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the educational aspect, developing public
transportation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

infrastructure has many advantages for
citizen
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

needs.
Transportation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
main
Correct article usage
the main

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daily
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need

It seems that needs may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for people,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people use these
transporatation
Correct your spelling
transportation

If you don’t want transporatation to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for commuting to school,
office
Correct article usage
the office

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, or visiting their friends.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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transportation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will reduce the pollution
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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caused by private vehicles.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

spending
Wrong verb form
spends

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb spending. Consider changing it.

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a lot of money
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

aspect, it will engage the
citizen
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

appreciation.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the strategic way to
spending
Wrong verb form
spend

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb spending. Consider changing it.

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the national expenditure for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

purpose are building a new train station,
bus
Correct word choice
and bus

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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stop, renovating the old
infrasturcture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure

If you don’t want infrasturcture to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, digitalizing the
transportation
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

services, and much more. In conclusion, I firmly agree with the notion that
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

money should be spent on the national priorities of
citizen
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

needs rather than for entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes

It seems that purpose may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Submitted by k a l l a on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay presents a clear structure with a defined introduction and conclusion, aim to enhance the logical flow between ideas in each paragraph. Ensure each paragraph naturally progresses to the next, maintaining cohesiveness.
task achievement
Ensure to include relevant and concrete examples to support your arguments. This helps in illustrating your points more vividly and makes your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
You have successfully provided a clear introduction and a summarizing conclusion which reinforces your stance, enhancing cohesion.
task achievement
The essay covers the task response adequately, presenting a viewpoint and justifying it with reasons aligned with the task prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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