IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
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In today’s
word
Correct your spelling
world
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 of hectic alterations, some individuals tend to throw in the towel in seeking
better
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a better
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life
 and make do
what
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with what
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 they have
whereas
 other
proportion
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proportions
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 of mankind
have
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has
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 a desperate
endeavor
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endeavour
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 to figure out the auspicious path to acquire more from
life
. I myself profoundly reckon that missing the boat is not the eventual option and there is always
place
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a place
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 for improvement.
Considering individuals
Verb problem
Individuals
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 who are afraid to take chief steps to
upside-down
Verb problem
turn
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 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, can encounter severe repercussions. As far as the huge array of people are satisfied with unpleasant circumstances, eluding from prospects in conjunction with obliterating their mental health are the most important indicators to take into account.
For instance
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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 of youngsters possess
a
Correct article usage
apply
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scarce experience in
taking
Correct your spelling
making
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 vital decisions
thus
 missing
the
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apply
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promotion
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promotions
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,
internship
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internships
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 and so many other splendid opportunities.
Moreover
, they harass themselves by suppressing inner emotions
for remaining
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to remain
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 in
abiding
Correct article usage
an abiding
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 position, entailing
to
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apply
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severe subsequent. Another noteworthy agenda refers to the
constant
Change the word
constantly
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 evolving component, varying many people’s lives on the bright side by the snap.
Furthermore
, self-development is a crucial aspect in all walks of
life
, supplying ineffable chances to flourish vigorously whilst others make excuses about every single impediment.
Hence
to
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apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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, people who have a strong zeal to invest efforts
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 likely to succeed rather than those who
keen
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are keen
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 on
with
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apply
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their current conditions. First camp, the birds of a feather flock together unless the second camp has an inferior
intension
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intention
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, leading to fewer accomplishments. To recap the aforementioned, the approach of permanent enhancing self has its appeal for me tremendously more, embracing a huge number of merits, commencing with hitting the road and
expand
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expanding
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 the outlook, and terminating with obtaining
high-powered
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a high-powered
the high-powered
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 job.
Submitted by kirkagoglesmail on

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Grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support the main points.
Coherence/Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to improve coherence and cohesion.
Introduction/Conclusion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion which summarises the main points effectively.
Task Achievement
The author attempts to discuss both views of the topic and provides their own opinion, which is good for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
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