IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show unitsof electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.

The pie charts below show unitsof electricity production by fuel source in Australia and France in 1980 and 2000.
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The pie charts provide
units
Use synonyms
 of electricity production by fuel source in
Australia
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 and
France
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 in 1980 and 2000.
It is clear that
Linking Words
people
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 from
Australia
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 use more coal than
people
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 from
France
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 in these two years.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Australia
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 coal was used by exactly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half in 1980 and the vast majority in 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
units
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 of electricity production by coal in
France
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is
Wrong verb form
were
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 equal to 25
units
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 out of
ninety
Correct your spelling
90
units
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 in 1980.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 type of fuel source was used by a small minority in 2000. Meanwhile, approximately
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in
Australia
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 used
hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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 for electricity production in these two years.
However
Linking Words
, in
France
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hydro power
Correct your spelling
hydropower
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 was used by
very
Add an article
a very
the very
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 tiny fraction in 1980 and 2000. Quantities of using nuclear power for the same reason were one out of six in 1980 and
significant
Add an article
a significant
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 majority in 2000.
But
Correct word choice
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 type of fuel source was not used by
people
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 from
Australia
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.
Remaining
Correct article usage
The remaining
show examples
 two sources were used by a small
partion
Correct your spelling
portion
partition
 of
people
Use synonyms
 from these countries in 1980 and 2000.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words units, australia, france, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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