IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The advance in air travel are focused only in first-class and this seems to have left others with no benefits at all. Do you agree or disagree?

#advance #air #travel
In the 20th century, broadly, it can be seen that flight fields are developed and extended and there are several
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 of
classes
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
economy
, business
class
 and
first-
Correct your spelling
first class
show examples
class
. Most
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
travelled
Wrong verb form
travel
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
economy
class
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 it has a lower price. Other
classes
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have higher prices and very less
people
 can book for these
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
. In
this
 essay, the discussion briefly about why some
people
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 that the only benefits
only
Add a missing verb
are only
show examples
 for the first-
class
people
. In my opinion, I disagree and I think all kinds of
classes
 have benefits based on specific things
Firstly
,
economy
, business
class
 and first-
class
 have benefits and the difference
only
Add a missing verb
is only
show examples
 in
types
Correct article usage
the types
show examples
 of seats and the way of service.
For example
, if you
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
book
economy
class
, you will have good service and nice food.
However
, The
first
Add a hyphen
first-class
show examples
class
 features are more fancy like, you have
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
 menu and the staff will serve you anytime. So, we can say that the service is
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
 but
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 certain levels.
Secondly
, the flight
managment
Correct your spelling
management
 made various types of
classes
 to satisfactory all
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
 each one
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
 on
own
Correct pronoun usage
your own
show examples
 budget, if you have more money, you will get more advantages. Meanwhile,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
save
Change the verb form
saves
show examples
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 money rather than spend it in first-
class
, he can enjoy shopping when
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 arrive
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
destinsation
Correct your spelling
destination
.
Finally
,
first-
Correct your spelling
first class
show examples
class
 is
very
Add an article
a very
the very
show examples
 high level of enjoyment and
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
 and some
people
 have some relationships that
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
may
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 any relative working in
flight
Correct article usage
a flight
show examples
 agency and can do
Correct article usage
an updrate
show examples
updrate
Correct your spelling
update
updates
 for
this
 family. In conclusion, air travel
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 focused
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 all different
classes
 and they are
extremly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 helpful for all travellers and they
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 lots of efforts to
satisfactoy
Correct your spelling
satisfy
 and make everyone happy especially the international flights with
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 high reputation.
Submitted by king999z on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure you have clear and concise topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to enhance the clarity of your writing.
task achievement
Expand on specific examples to provide more concrete support for your points.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are fully developed and comprehensive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your stance on the issue.
logical structure
You have a clear and coherent structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
supported main points
You attempt to provide different perspectives and balance your argument.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!