Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as hobbies and interests and whether they are married or single. Some people say this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In recent years most
of
Change preposition
apply
the
companies Correct article usage
apply
request
personal Wrong verb form
have requested
information
such
as marital status, hobbies and personal interests of candidates. The main purpose of employes
is to identify job seekers' job skills, knowledge and experience Correct your spelling
employees
as well as
personal details
. During the various stages of recruitment
process, recruiters recognize Add an article
the recruitment
academic
background and relevant Correct article usage
the academic
inustry
experience of the potential candidates. In the meantime, many businesses prefer obtaining basic Correct your spelling
industry
information
of
selected individuals for a respective position.
Change preposition
about
Firstly
, gathering details
of employees is useful and relevant since Human
Correct article usage
the Human
Resource
Department can share these Fix the agreement mistake
Resources
details
with other collegues
. Correct your spelling
colleagues
colleges
This
supports in
building team relationships and each team member receives the opportunity to know about their Change preposition
apply
collegues
. For Correct your spelling
colleagues
an
example, I recently started a new position as a Bookkeeper in one of the reputed Correct article usage
apply
business
. Meanwhile, with the issuance of Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
offer
letter Human Resources Manager requested to fillCorrect article usage
the offer
a
Change preposition
out a
for
called "Know your Correct your spelling
form
collegues
" which includes my hobbies, interests and history before joining the company. Correct your spelling
colleagues
However
, the department shared these
Change the determiner
this information
information
with coworkers to provide an understanding about
the fresh hires.
Change preposition
of
Secondly
, some people believe providing personal details
to
Change preposition
in
workplace
is unnecessary and not useful . Add an article
the workplace
Further
, majority
of the new hires feel anxious Correct article usage
the majority
of
sharing Change the preposition
about
the
confidential Correct article usage
apply
information
with a completely new company. For an
example, if a person is having difficulties or issues within a marriage they prefer not Correct article usage
apply
revealing
marital status to outside parties. Change the verb form
to reveal
Additionally
, people may have various and uncommon hobbies which they feel disrespectful and uncomfortable of
disclosing to unknown parties. Meanwhile, it is the perspective of some people that there should be a professional gap between Change preposition
apply
employer
and employees to run business operations smoothly and efficiently. Fix the agreement mistake
employers
Therefore
, maintaining professional information
such
as qualifications, skills, knowledge and experience is sufficient as employee records.
In summary, maintaining better relationships is significant for business rowth
and stability. Correct your spelling
growth
Therefore
, building closer connections among
supervisor and worker is important Change preposition
between
while
undertstanding
the personal characteristics and behaviour. Correct your spelling
understanding
In
addition
employees prefer keeping a distance Add a comma
addition,
with
superiors Change preposition
from
while
limiting conversations and sharing details
into
a professional context only. Change preposition
in
Finally
, employers should handle sensitive information
in an efficient manner to avoid confusions
in the future and I suppose Fix the agreement mistake
confusion
businees
owners need to prove the importance, relevance and usefulness of gathering personal Correct your spelling
business
information
for employer-employee relationships.Submitted by shehanigunasekara948 on
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task response
You've addressed the topic well by discussing both views and providing your own opinion. However, ensure that each argument is fully developed and supported with diverse examples. Additionally, try to make your conclusion more precise and summarizing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical progression and clear structure. However, some sentences can be refined to improve readability and smooth transitions. Pay attention to paragraphing and make sure every idea flows naturally to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea and avoid mixing different points within a single paragraph. Use linking words and phrases to enhance cohesion.
task response
The essay covers both views and provides your own opinion, which answers the task adequately.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is clear with distinct paragraphs for different points of view.
task response
Use of examples helps in explaining your ideas more clearly and makes your arguments more compelling.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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