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Today children are spending much more time watching TV compared to the past. Why do you think this happens? Is this a positive or a negative change?

#children #time #tv #change
Nowadays, more and more parents are allowing their children to spend too much time in front of Television. I see
this
as a result
 of adults' lack of awareness
to
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of
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 the negative impact of too much
screen-time
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screen time
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for
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on
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 young
kids
 including their health and social development.
Therefore
, the increasing number of
under-age
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underage
show examples
 people watching
TV
 has been a down-grade progress in our society. Ideally, parents, teachers, and other responsible adults should know the importance of suitable stimulus for
kids
. Unfortunately, many
failed
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fail
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 to understand that there are some
medias
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media
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 -in
this
 case television- that bring more harm than benefits to
kids
 especially if it is being given too much. Even worse if no adult is around to guide them
while
 watching. We never know if the show presented is appropriate to their age. As a matter of fact, numerous
study
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studies
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 has found that the
habbit
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habit
 of
regulary
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regularly
 watching
TV
 for children aged under 13 has caused health problems
such
 as low vision and
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a sedantary
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sedantary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
 lifestyle.
Furthermore
,
this
 harmful
habbit
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habit
 has
also
influanced
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influenced
 how
kids
interract
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interact
 with their friends. It is known that
kids
 who watch
TV
 more than the maximum
screen-time
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screen time
show examples
 recommended by experts are facing social
problem
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problems
show examples
such
 as insecurity and trouble approaching their friends.
To conclude
, the uprising case of little
kids
 spending unlimited time in front of
TV
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the TV
show examples
 is caused by parents' little knowledge
on
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of
show examples
 the importance of children's screen-time limitation. Personally, I strongly believe that
this
behavioral
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behavioural
show examples
 change
on
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in
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kids
 brings more harm than good.
For instance
, it has caused
chidlren's
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children's
 health and social problems.
Therefore
, adults should be more thoughtful of their
kids
'
watch-time
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watch time
show examples
 and find
alternatives
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alternative
show examples
 media that are more beneficial to young
kids
 e.g. drawing books,
encyclopedia
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encyclopedias
show examples
, interactive board games, etc.
Submitted by lidyaprmata on

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task achievement
To improve task response, you should provide more specific examples and elaborate on them. This will illustrate your points more vividly and give the reader a concrete understanding of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a good logical structure and flow. However, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transitions between paragraphs are seamless. Using more transitional phrases can enhance the flow and connection between ideas.
task achievement
Try to reduce minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to make your ideas clearer and more precise. This will help in communicating your message more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a complete response to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported well with appropriate reasons and explanations, leading to a coherent and understandable essay.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both parts of the question, discussing the reasons why children watch more TV and providing your opinion on whether this is positive or negative.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view with a clear stance, which is well-argued and supported.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • educational content
  • entertainment
  • relaxation
  • physical activity
  • cultural exposure
  • mental health
  • visual skills
  • auditory skills
  • advertisements
What to do next:
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