Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be a good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people consider
children
should learn how to be a decent member of society at home, while
others consider they should equip those skills at school
. I think it’s both
of them are important places for children
to form their personality and sense of morality.
Children
can easily imitate their family members’ talking and copy their reactions toward various events. If a father always kicks stray dogs at the park, his child would think that’s normal to treat animals like that. On contrary
, if the father saves injured animals and always Correct article usage
the contrary
try
his best to cure them, his child might probably do the same thing in the future. Family plays an important role in Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
children
’s life
, especially early Fix the agreement mistake
lives
stage
. Before they go to Fix the agreement mistake
stages
school
, home is the place they
develop their recognition of right and wrong.
In Rephrase
where they
later
stage, Add an article
a later
the later
school
provides a more complex environment. There are lot’s
of things happen in Change noun form
lots
school
life, and that’s the best way to learn how to deal with certain situations. For example
, the teacher will teach children
do
not Unnecessary verb
apply
cheat
Fix the infinitive
to cheat
in
tests. Some students keep it Change preposition
on
while
some break it. For those who break the rules, the teacher might talk to them and give them some punishments. In this
case, both
sides of students will learn their own lessons. For those cheated
in Correct pronoun usage
who cheated
test
, they might regret the action earlier and find the right way to improve their score; for those not Fix the agreement mistake
tests
cheated
, they would realize the result of cheating and consider the importance of morality.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
cheat
both
places are tremendously important for children
to learn the skills of being a decent member of society. Home, as a foundation, forms children
’s early stage of personality while
school
equip them more
skills to deal with complex situations. Change preposition
with more
Both
of them are not substitutional.Submitted by funfunchiu on
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coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your examples can be more detailed and varied. Adding more specific instances will strengthen your main points and make your arguments more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to refine the vocabulary and use more academic expressions. This will make your essay sound more professional and appropriate for IELTS standard.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction and provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and restates the importance of home and school in a child's development.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs for each main point, contributing to a logical structure overall.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.