IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that every human can create art. Other people think that art can only be created by people with special talents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Opinions are divided on whether all human beings or only
people
Use synonyms
 who have innate talented abilities can do
artwork
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 both schools of thought are logical and understandable, I firmly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the former perspective. On the one hand, there are some rationales
bolster
Correct pronoun usage
that bolster
show examples
 the viewpoint that only
people
Use synonyms
 with sheer genius talents can create a piece of
art
Use synonyms
.
Art
Use synonyms
 basically is an extremely complex, sophisticated, and abstract field which requires artists to own the capability to form breakthrough ideas
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with multifaceted perspectives and inborn abilities
such
Linking Words
 as having creative imagination.
Due to
Linking Words
 its
complication
Fix the agreement mistake
complications
show examples
, it is quite challenging to transfer all of the techniques, theories, and concepts from the professionals to the amateurs comprehensively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is not an overstatement to say that
art
Use synonyms
 is a domain
relies
Correct pronoun usage
that relies
show examples
 mainly on creativity, the prime contribution to the process of conceiving extraordinary ideas that hard to
be acquired
Wrong verb form
acquire
show examples
 by practising, which is remarkably vital and facilitates artists to attain success and high-evaluated
artwork
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 fortunately inherited special talents tend to be more successful with less effort, money, and time compared to the opposite when enrolling in
this
Linking Words
 field.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents of the previous view argue that everybody is able to do a work of
art
Use synonyms
. Despite its complication, the rooted meaning of
art
Use synonyms
 is that it is just a special means to express opinions,
ideas
Correct word choice
and ideas
show examples
 and communicate with other
people
Use synonyms
, leading to the fact that no one is the exception from
this
Linking Words
 type of human civilization.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 is a controversial topic when discussing
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 an
artwork
Use synonyms
 is meaningful, artistic,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
high-valued or useless.
This
Linking Words
 can be illustrated through the case of Picasso, a globally renowned and talented artist, that
while
Linking Words
 some individuals consider his artworks as a profound and creative part of the abstract world, others only contemplate it as meaningless and unaesthetic.
Conversely
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 were evaluated as
amatuer
Correct your spelling
amateur
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
 somehow acquire numerous public praises and thereby sell their pieces of
art
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 sky-high prices.
Consequently
Linking Words
, every human can create
artworks
Fix the agreement mistake
artwork
show examples
 without being scared of judgements because of
art
Use synonyms
’s vogue definition between aesthetic and unaesthetic. In conclusion, even though there are some undeniable aspects of
art
Use synonyms
 that can only be done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inborn talented individuals, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 who do not own
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of sheer talents still can create numerous profound and meaningful
Use synonyms
artwork
Fix the agreement mistake
artworks
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, ensure that you include more specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Working on sentence variety and reducing overly complex structures can help improve coherence. Try using a mix of short and long sentences to make your essay easier to read and follow.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views of the topic and provided a clear opinion at the beginning and the end of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and you maintain a logical flow throughout the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: