Topic: In many countries, the consumption of fast food is increasing, which is leading to health problems. Some people think that the government should tax fast food to reduce its consumption. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many regions,
people
are consuming fast
food
more than ever, leading to significant health issues. Some believe that it is critical to tax individuals, causing a reduced consumption in
this
category of
food
.
However
, others argue that these problems are not a big deal and that
people
should not be charged for eating what they enjoy. In
this
essay, I will argue that
while
some
people
eat fast
food
occasionally, others are eating it excessively, leading to major diseases, particularly among
children
and the elderly.
Firstly
, the increased demand for ready-to-eat
food
has been affecting everyone
severly
Correct your spelling
severely
in many sectors of life.
People
have started missing work, and
children
have stopped attending school, which has disturbed societies.
For instance
, kids have started developing type 2 diabetes
due to
the excessive amount of sugar and processed foods bought and consumed on a daily basis, potentially harming their organs and brain function. Charging individuals,
particulary
Correct your spelling
particularly
parents who are in charge of making healthy
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
meals to nourish their
children
is crucial to limit the expenditure of these unhealthy and excessively processed snacks and meals.
Additionally
, many other measures should be taken to combat
this
, including raising awareness on television and social media platforms.
This
will open doors to those who were not aware of the consequences of ingesting fast
food
.
Therefore
, making healthier eating a lifestyle rather than a diet for a short period of time.
While
some
people
only like to indulge once in a
while
;
thus
not affecting their well-being and
overall
health. It is important to note that restricting all of the population to significantly
diminsh
Correct your spelling
diminish
this
problem is vital to minimize the widespread of
this
problem. Additional measures should
also
be taken,
such
as incorporating healthier foods and snacks in worldwide restaurants and shops to spread healthy nourishment to everyone, particularly those who are busy and unable to cook
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
meals. In conclusion, taxing
people
who consume these types of
food
is highly likely to make an impact on
people
's lives and well-being, causing a significantly healthier and fitter society, with minor to no illnesses. Other important measures can be taken to
further
resolve
this
issue,
such
as raising awareness among teenagers and
children
in schools and creating campaigns in other sectors as well.
Submitted by ayatalsabahe on

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task achievement
Try to develop each main idea more thoroughly to strengthen your argument. For instance, you could add more detailed examples or evidence to support your points about health issues caused by fast food consumption.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing coherence by ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one. This can be achieved by using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your stance more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion. This will make your argument stronger and more consistent throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a good structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument effectively and provided a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The use of specific examples like children developing type 2 diabetes due to fast food consumption helps to illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • health problems
  • obesity
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • taxation
  • deter
  • low-income families
  • consumer habits
  • reformulate
  • portion sizes
  • black-market
  • well-being
  • citizens
  • discourage
  • nutrition
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