Topic: In many countries, the consumption of fast food is increasing, which is leading to health problems. Some people think that the government should tax fast food to reduce its consumption. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In many regions,
people
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are consuming fast
food
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more than ever, leading to significant health issues. Some believe that it is critical to tax individuals, causing a reduced consumption in
this
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category of
food
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.
However
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, others argue that these problems are not a big deal and that
people
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should not be charged for eating what they enjoy. In
this
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essay, I will argue that
while
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some
people
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eat fast
food
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occasionally, others are eating it excessively, leading to major diseases, particularly among
children
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and the elderly.
Firstly
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, the increased demand for ready-to-eat
food
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has been affecting everyone
severly
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severely

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in many sectors of life.
People
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have started missing work, and
children
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have stopped attending school, which has disturbed societies.
For instance
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, kids have started developing type 2 diabetes
due to
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the excessive amount of sugar and processed foods bought and consumed on a daily basis, potentially harming their organs and brain function. Charging individuals,
particulary
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particularly

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parents who are in charge of making healthy
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade

The word home made seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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meals to nourish their
children
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is crucial to limit the expenditure of these unhealthy and excessively processed snacks and meals.
Additionally
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, many other measures should be taken to combat
this
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, including raising awareness on television and social media platforms.
This
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will open doors to those who were not aware of the consequences of ingesting fast
food
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.
Therefore
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, making healthier eating a lifestyle rather than a diet for a short period of time.
While
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some
people
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only like to indulge once in a
while
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;
thus
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not affecting their well-being and
overall
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health. It is important to note that restricting all of the population to significantly
diminsh
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diminish

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this
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problem is vital to minimize the widespread of
this
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problem. Additional measures should
also
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be taken,
such
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as incorporating healthier foods and snacks in worldwide restaurants and shops to spread healthy nourishment to everyone, particularly those who are busy and unable to cook
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked

It seems that home cooked is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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meals. In conclusion, taxing
people
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who consume these types of
food
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is highly likely to make an impact on
people
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's lives and well-being, causing a significantly healthier and fitter society, with minor to no illnesses. Other important measures can be taken to
further
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resolve
this
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issue,
such
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as raising awareness among teenagers and
children
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in schools and creating campaigns in other sectors as well.

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task achievement
Try to develop each main idea more thoroughly to strengthen your argument. For instance, you could add more detailed examples or evidence to support your points about health issues caused by fast food consumption.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing coherence by ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one. This can be achieved by using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your stance more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion. This will make your argument stronger and more consistent throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, giving it a good structure.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument effectively and provided a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The use of specific examples like children developing type 2 diabetes due to fast food consumption helps to illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • health problems
  • obesity
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • taxation
  • deter
  • low-income families
  • consumer habits
  • reformulate
  • portion sizes
  • black-market
  • well-being
  • citizens
  • discourage
  • nutrition
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