It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative or practical subjects for which they may have more aptitude. To what extent do you agree ot disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is aimless for students who don't have any skills
im
Correct your spelling
in

If you don’t want im to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

painting and drawing to pursue Art classes at
school
Correct article usage
the school

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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level,
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, they should focus more on their practical courses, which they find more interesting to learn.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay strongly
agree
Change the verb form
agrees

The plural verb agree does not appear to agree with the singular subject This essay. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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on
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

suggestion because it helps them to choose their desired
subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

develops curiosity to learn
specific
Add an article
a specific

The noun phrase specific subject seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, there is always a
choise
Correct your spelling
choice

If you don’t want choise to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for pupils, who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want

It seems that the verb wants does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to study their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite

The spelling of favorite is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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subject
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. If
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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focus more on art subjects like drawing and painting, which they find boring to study, it ultimately leads them to failure in academics, but students focus more on
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects

It seems that subject may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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they like,

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relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your argument. For instance, mention specific practical subjects such as technology, sciences, or vocational training that students might prefer over Art classes.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically to the next point. Improve transitions between points to enhance the essay’s overall coherence.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay clearly attempts to engage with the topic and provides a stance on the issue.
supported main points
Logical reasoning is presented in support of the argument, though it could be more developed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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