It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative or practical subjects for which they may have more aptitude. To what extent do you agree ot disagree?

It is aimless for students who don't have any skills
im
Correct your spelling
in
painting and drawing to pursue Art classes at
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
level,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
, they should focus more on their practical courses, which they find more interesting to learn.
This
essay strongly
agree
Change the verb form
agrees
show examples
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
suggestion because it helps them to choose their desired
subject
and
also
develops curiosity to learn
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
subject
.
To begin
with, there is always a
choise
Correct your spelling
choice
for pupils, who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
to study their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
subject
. If
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
focus more on art subjects like drawing and painting, which they find boring to study, it ultimately leads them to failure in academics, but students focus more on
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
they like,
Submitted by prajapativishal9328 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to support your argument. For instance, mention specific practical subjects such as technology, sciences, or vocational training that students might prefer over Art classes.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically to the next point. Improve transitions between points to enhance the essay’s overall coherence.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay clearly attempts to engage with the topic and provides a stance on the issue.
supported main points
Logical reasoning is presented in support of the argument, though it could be more developed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: