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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behavior.Other disagree and think that the host country should wecome cultural difference.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behavior #host #country #wecome #difference
Nowadays, travelling between countries is very common, from different nations ,
this
 essay
further
elobrates
Correct your spelling
elaborates
elaborate
 on my point of view.
Firstly
, we should agree that the world has seven continents,
Correct word choice
and
show examples
different races and unlike religions,
hence
 there are laws and rules in each
country
.
Moreover
, diversity has a positive impact on the world's countries.
While
 folks visit the land seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the culture and the fabulous landscapes of the others ,
consequently
,
this
 is a great benefit , As I wholeheartedly
coupled
Verb problem
agree
show examples
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the host should accept the variety of visitors ,
also
 they should show the foreigners the best hospitality;
therefore
,
this
 is a reflection of the culture of the receptor
country
.
On the other hand
, the visitors should
also
 be respectful , the law is the law , and they have to obey the law of the strangers ,
as well as
 their rituals.
This
 is a chance to share education, cooking and traditional customs between the distance .
Additionally
, the visitors are participating in
hightening
Correct your spelling
heightening
tightening
 the economic status of the welcoming land. Ultimately, tourism is a crucial matter for booming the nation, exchanging the culture, the goods, and even thoughts. The tourists have to obey the rules and rituals of the other,
also
 the visitor has to reflect the good image of his
country
 though the host
country
 will see it in return.
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on

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task achievement
Improve the introduction to clearly state the purpose and main points of the essay. Consider rewriting the first sentence for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that these ideas are explored fully and logically.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides a final perspective on the topic.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and considers both viewpoints, which is critical for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Some good points are made about the importance of respecting local customs and the benefits of cultural exchange.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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