Many elderly people are no longer after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?
In
this
modren
era, most of the old Correct your spelling
modern
people
are sent in
nursing Change preposition
to
home
by their kids. They are not taken Fix the agreement mistake
homes
care
from
Change preposition
of
familes
. Correct your spelling
families
However
, there are many merits and demerits of this
, which I will discuss further
.
To begin
with, famlies
cannot afford nurses at Correct your spelling
families
home
. because care
homes very
Add a missing verb
are very
expencive
and Correct your spelling
expensive
not
stay Add a missing verb
do not
with
24 hours. Some Change preposition
within
famlies
Change noun form
famly's
famlies'
fanicely
conditions are not good so all Correct your spelling
financial
Correct article usage
the member
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
busy
Add a missing verb
are busy
on
Change preposition
with
work
and every day face new
tenstion Correct article usage
a new
on
busy life, After fineshed the Change preposition
in
work
back to home
not properly care
the
old Change preposition
for the
people
.
More over
, Correct your spelling
Moreover
basically
Add a comma
basically,
i
am from Change the capitalization
I
india
, in our culture elder Change the capitalization
India
people
base of
Change preposition
apply
the
house and Change the word
their
familey
. Old Correct your spelling
family
people
every time teach younger and good advice for future life. This
time all people
think about money so that all member
of Fix the agreement mistake
members
house
Add an article
the house
a house
going
Wrong verb form
go
for
Change preposition
to
work
and old people
stay in the home
and house safe before younger people
going
Wrong verb form
go
on
Change preposition
to
work
. older people
not in the home
,our children are not connect
with my culture. So old Wrong verb form
connected
people
are very immporant
for Correct your spelling
important
home
.
To be conclude
, I think older Change the verb form
conclude
people
are good
Correct article usage
a good
advantages
for our families.Every time give Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
best
advice younger and children. But older Change the article
the best
people
are in
Add a hyphen
in-home
home
care
, next turn my from my kids.Submitted by sunnytalwan065 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. There are several grammatical mistakes that can be easily corrected with practice.
cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a logical flow from one point to the next, using transition words and phrases to link ideas more smoothly.
task response
Expand on ideas with more relevant and specific examples to make the essay more comprehensive and convincing.
task response
The essay provides a basic response to the task with an introduction and conclusion.
relevant examples
The writer touches on cultural differences and personal experiences, which enrich the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.