in the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to Shop. Do you agree or disagree?
These days,
people
can go to a mall to get what they want and be entertained as well. As mall owners have competition
with each other, so they are always open to news
ideas to make Correct your spelling
new
people
enjoy their big store.Eventhough
, I disagree with Correct your spelling
Even though
this
statement to some extents
and in Fix the agreement mistake
extent
this
essay, I will explain why and give my view.
Shopping malls
will always be a place for shopping and getting what you are looking for, as
if not, the name should be Correct word choice
apply
amusement
parkCorrect article usage
an amusement
!.
It is true that most Change the punctuation
!
people
may go there in order to be entertained, but they still go to different stores and if something catch
their Change the verb form
catches
eyes
, Fix the agreement mistake
eye
eventhough
they do not need it, Correct your spelling
even though
thay
will buy it. I work as a shopkeeper and Correct your spelling
they
everyday
I see Replace the word
every day
wemon
with their child who enjoy their shop alongside taking their kid to the playground Correct your spelling
women
in
the Change preposition
on
last
floor. There are also
other places rather than shopping centers
where Change the spelling
centres
people
can enjoy themselves.
On the other hand
, Young
generations prefer to have fun at Correct article usage
the Young
malls
rather than clubs or amusment
parks as there Correct your spelling
amusement
are
Change the verb form
is
variety
of entertainment staff and facilities available in shopping Add an article
a variety
malls
. For instance
, they Can go to a cinema in a mall and after that have a meal at a cafe or restaurant in the shopping center
with their friends, so they can do plenty of activities all in Change the spelling
centre
a
same place.
Correct article usage
the
To sum up
, malls
are built for peoples' convinience
in shopping, but with the variety of facilities that they are offering, Correct your spelling
convenience
young
generations' purpose of visiting a chain is changing.Correct article usage
the young
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your position and what you will discuss in the essay. Be careful with awkward phrasing and grammatical errors that can obscure your meaning. You can improve the coherence of your essay by making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea related to the overall argument.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points, particularly those related to the competition between mall owners and how they attract customers. Make sure to fully address both aspects of the question if you partially agree and partially disagree. Strengthen your conclusion to better summarize the key points made in the essay.
Task Achievement
You have included relevant, specific examples that illustrate your points, such as your experience as a shopkeeper and the observation of young generations enjoying various activities in malls.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a coherent structure with distinct paragraphs for different points, which helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.