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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the percentage films produced by 5 different countries in 3 year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage films produced by 5 different countries in 3 year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrates how many films were manufactured by five various nations over the 3-year timescale spanning from 2007 to 2009. It is noticeable that both countries A and C exhibited downward trends in the number of films
production
Replace the word
produced

The word production doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, the proportion of movies produced in
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries

It seems that country may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 B, D and E witnessed completely opposite patterns during the surveyed period. Notably,
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 A
was
Verb problem
had

There may be a verb use issue here.

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 by far the highest number of flicks throughout the period. From the outset in 2007, the percentage of movies made in nation A was highest, accounting for nearly 90%, which was nearly 40% higher than that of nation B.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, over the next year, there was a drop to 80% in the total movie manufacturing in
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 A in 2009,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a rise to 20% was experienced in
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 B during the surveyed period. From 2007 onwards, 20% of film output came from region C, compared to 13% and 5% of countries D and E respectively.
Thereafter
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the figures for D and E grew slowly in 2009, with the former taking up almost 15%,
the
Correct word choice
and the

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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 latter around 8%.
By contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there was a minimal rise to around 22% in the data of
country
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 C in 2008, before decreasing slightly to roughly 18% in 2009.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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