IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job at a letter to the shop or company we should apply the equipment in your letter describe the problem with the equipment how the problem is affecting you say what you want the shop or company to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company
Dear sir, Hope
this
 letter finds you in good health.
Last
 week, I ordered a keyboard for my personal computer from your store located in
city
Add an article
the city
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 centre when I didn't
had
Change the verb form
have
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 much time to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the problems am facing with my computer.As I bought
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 keyboard thinking my problem would vanish,with your keyboard
also
 it malfunctions frequently during my work. Some letters are not responding when I am typing
as a result
, I frequently had to plug and unplug the computer switch causing disruption in my performance. It is always hectic to go through
such
 a problem. As my project submission date is approaching failure to do so
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
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 me
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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marking
Replace the word
mark
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my promotion. kindly request you to change the faulty parts as soon as possible with a new one making my daily routine easier. your's sincerely Sailesh
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly state the problems with the equipment in a more organized manner, and ensure that each problem is detailed in a separate paragraph.
task achievement
Provide a bit more detail about how you would like the company to resolve the issue, such as specifying a timeline or expressing your preference for a replacement.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your letter to correct small grammatical and punctuation mistakes, and to maintain a professional tone throughout.
task achievement
The letter maintains a polite and professional tone, addressing the recipient respectfully.
task achievement
Your request is clearly stated towards the end of the letter, making it easy to understand what action you want the shop or company to take.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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