IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

#minutes #illustrations #show #chocolate #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The diagram explains the process for the making of chocolate. There are a total of ten stages in the process, beginning with the growing of the pods on the cacao trees and culminating in the production of the chocolate.
To begin
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cocoa comes from the cacao tree, which is grown in the South American and African continents and the country of Indonesia. Once the pods are ripe and red, they are harvested and the white cocoa beans are removed. Following a period of fermentation, they are
then
 laid out on a large tray so they can dry under the sun.
Next,
they are placed into large sacks and delivered to the factory. They are
then
 roasted at a temperature of 350 degrees, after which the beans are crushed and separated from their outer shell. In the final stage,
this
 inner part
that is
 left is pressed and the chocolate is produced.
Submitted by raufpasayev83 on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, consider providing more specific details or expanding on particular stages in the chocolate production process. For instance, elaborate on what happens during fermentation and how the drying under the sun affects the cocoa beans.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure that each transition between stages is smooth and clearly indicate any sequence or causality. Provide some linking phrases to make the essay flow more naturally.
introduction conclusion present
You provided a concise introduction and conclusion, which help frame the overall process clearly.
logical structure
Good use of sequence words (e.g., 'To begin,' 'Next,' 'In the final stage') helps to logically structure the essay.
supported main points
Key stages in the process are clearly identified and described, contributing to the clarity of your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • harvest
  • ferment
  • roast
  • grind
  • cocoa mass
  • conching
  • tempering
  • stabilize crystals
  • molding
  • solidify
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