In the future, more people will choose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday? Do you ageree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

There is a statement
said
Verb problem
apply
show examples
that in the
future
many folks prefer going
vacations
Change preposition
on vacations
show examples
in their own
nation
rather than traveling to another
nation
during the
holiday
.
Thus
, I still feel that
people
will go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
countries
on
Correct article usage
a day-off
show examples
day-off
Correct your spelling
day off
show examples
in the
future
for two main reasons.
Firstly
, as a human being, it is clearly known that
people
have
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of curiosity. Rather than doing the same activity, they tend to do a new thing.
Consequently
, they will get some new knowledge from that. In line with that,
people
will learn something when they explore the new destination
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
their life.
For instance
, folks will always
visiting
Change the verb form
visit
be visiting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new places in the
future
, including other
countries
as they can try dishes from different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
, identify landmarks around the world, and find new friends from other
countries
.
Secondly
, because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization, humans can easily browse on the internet how much the price
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
travel to other nations.
Therefore
, they can compare the price
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their own
nation
and other country. In some
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
,
cost
Correct article usage
the cost
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
show examples
abroad
cheaper
Add a missing verb
is cheaper
show examples
than
domestic
Change the word
domestically
show examples
.
For example
, during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Seclusion Day, the cost to visit Bali will be higher than on general days, so many Indonesians
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
go
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
there and will travel to Malaysia.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
also
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
one crucial part of that situation. Nowadays,
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
become the major income in some
countries
.
Thus
, they will give so many discounts to attract tourist from other
countries
to come to their land. In conclusion, the statement that said in the
future
people
tend to
holiday
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their own country should hardly
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
believe as a human being,
people
have
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
of curiosity.
Therefore
, I believe that folks in the
future
still go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
countries
to learn about something new and sometimes the cost to
holiday
in other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
cheaper
Add a missing verb
is cheaper
show examples
in some
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
.
Submitted by alfathemaster on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task achievement, try to provide more detailed and varied examples to support your arguments. This will help to make your essay more persuasive and illustrate your points more clearly.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, work on ensuring that each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. Use transitional phrases and linking words effectively to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on addressing minor grammatical errors and improving sentence structure to make your writing clearer and more polished.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and present, which helps to frame your essay well.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, addressing the question of whether people will choose to holiday domestically or internationally in the future.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are relevant and logically connected to the overarching argument of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!