IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pictures below show how tomato ketchup is made.

#pictures #show #tomato #ketchup
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pictures illustrate the steps involved in making
tomato
Use synonyms
ketchup
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 15 stages in general and each picture describes the processes step by step in detail. Each step describes the production processes of
tomato
Use synonyms
ketchup
Use synonyms
, from picking
tomatoes
Use synonyms
 to serving
tomato
Use synonyms
ketchup
Use synonyms
. At the initial stage,
tomatoes
Use synonyms
 are picked and stored in a basket. Prior to it being sent to the factory by truck, they are sorted into rotten and fresh. Following that, the stems of the
tomatoes
Use synonyms
 are cut to peel and the
tomato
Use synonyms
 seeds are separated.
Tomatoes
Use synonyms
 are sorted in a container until they are crushed. Some ingredients
such
Linking Words
 as sugar, vinegar, salt and
tomatoes
Use synonyms
 boil after they are added to a container. To fill the bottles with
ketchup
Use synonyms
, it takes 2 hours to cool. Following that the bottle is labelled, and its quality is controlled by the manufacturer. Prior to
ketchup
Use synonyms
 bottles being transported by truck to the market, they are packed into boxes.
Finally
Linking Words
,
ketchup
Use synonyms
 is stored in markets and can be bought to eat with hamburgers and fries.
Submitted by checkmyessay9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Incorporate some connecting phrases at the beginning of sentences to make the flow smoother, such as 'Afterward', 'Subsequently', or 'In the final stage'; this will enhance coherence.
coherence
Include a clear and concise conclusion that summarizes the entire process. While the overview is good, a concluding statement will provide a more rounded response.
coherence
Ensure consistent use of verb tenses. For example, 'Prior to it being sent to the factory' can be improved to 'Prior to being sent to the factory'.
task achievement
Provide more detailed explanations in some stages to avoid ambiguity. For example, the step where 'the stems of the tomatoes are cut to peel and the tomato seeds are separated' can be elaborated further.
task achievement
Use more specific language where needed. Instead of 'the bottle is labelled,' describe whether it involves a specific machine or a manual process if possible.
task achievement
Identification of all key stages in the production process significantly contributes to the task completion.
coherence
Overall, the logical flow of the essay is maintained well, allowing the reader to follow through the process clearly.
coherence
The introduction effectively sets up what the essay will cover, providing a good overview of the stages involved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • production process
  • raw material
  • final product
  • selection
  • preparation
  • washing
  • sorting
  • peeling
  • deseeding
  • quality control
  • cooking
  • concentration
  • thickening
  • seasoning
  • additional ingredients
  • spices
  • sugar
  • vinegar
  • flavor concentration
  • bottling
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • safety standards
  • taste test
  • labeling
  • integrity checks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: