In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their productss are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

It is true that businesses frequently promote their "new"
products
in their advertising in recent years. There are a variety of reasons why
companies
are likely to introduce their new
products
in
this
way, and I believe that
this
is a negative development. Cooperations prefer to promote their
products
in
this
way for the following reasons.
Firstly
, new
products
always get
consumers
' attention.
For example
, when there are two different versions of
products
,
consumers
are willing to choose the new one. Customers are more likely to be attracted by new
products
which they think it is the better
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Secondly
, new
products
are rather more competitive than old
products
. In order to expand or
main
Correct your spelling
maintain
show examples
market share, promoting new
products
is a great market strategy.
Thirdly
, introducing new
products
can
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
some extent
boosts
Correct subject-verb agreement
boost
show examples
companies
' sales. Advertising can help firms to introduce their
products
in order to stimulate their revenue growth. I would think it is a negative development. In contemporary businesses, the rate of launching new
products
is extremely fast.
As a result
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, there are minor differences between new and old
products
.
Consumers
would feel they are conceited, and
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
may result in damage
companies'
Change preposition
to companies'
show examples
images. They may
also
buy commodities which they do not need.
In addition
, new
products
Change the noun form
product
show examples
advertising could increase peer pressure among individuals. Under peer pressure, people are forced to purchase expensive things. In conclusion,
companies
use advertising to make their new
products
sell better, and I think that new product advertising
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
consumers
to spend their money unreasonably.
Submitted by 842623369 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between paragraphs and within paragraphs for better coherence. For instance, make sure each point leads naturally to the next.
task achievement
While your response is generally complete, adding more specific examples would make your arguments stronger. For example, mentioning a specific product or company would help clarify your points.
task achievement
Work on making your ideas clearer and more comprehensive. Occasionally, sentences are slightly unclear or wordy. For instance, the sentence 'Introducing new products can in some extent boosts companies' sales' could be revised to 'Introducing new products can boost company sales to some extent.'
task response
Your introduction clearly outlines the main idea of the essay and provides a solid foundation for discussing the question.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance, which helps in wrapping up the essay nicely.
coherence cohesion
You used a variety of sentence structures, which makes for more engaging reading.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: