The world population is been increasing lately. One way to curb excessive growth in third world countries is to restrict the number of children each couple can have to 1. Other people believe that empowerment of the women is a better way. Discuss both views and state your opinion.
These days,
overpopulatation
is Correct your spelling
overpopulation
an
universal concern topic around the world. Change the article
a
Therefore
, the developing nations
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
strictly
Replace the adverb
strict
to
follow the law of each couple has only Fix the infinitive
apply
one
child
in order to reverse this
situation while
others say that women
Change noun form
women's
eduaction
is a better Correct your spelling
education
approach
to this
. This
essay will discuss both view points
and I strongly agree with the latter opinion for the following reasons.
On the Correct your spelling
viewpoints
one
hand, the developing nations
enforce to curb overpopulation by having one
child
in each family in order to
the government will provide all the amenities for everyone. Change preposition
for
This
means, being
fewer Wrong verb form
will be
popualtion
in third-level Correct your spelling
population
populations
nations
that
might Correct pronoun usage
which
be reduced
the poverty ratio and everyone will have a job and their livelihood Wrong verb form
reduce
also
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
by
Change preposition
through
one
Correct determiner usage
the
child
policy. Correct your spelling
one-child
For example
, Chinese
ministry has passed the law of Correct article usage
the Chinese
'''
Correct article usage
the '''
one
child
policy ', and as a result
, now India has dominated China by popualtion
, China has Correct your spelling
population
the
second place Correct article usage
apply
of
the world Change preposition
in
most
Change preposition
with most
population
of the country. Needless to say, following enforces act of having one
child
in each couple could be reversed
the overpopulation.
Wrong verb form
reverse
On the other hand
, women
education is the better Change noun form
women's
approach
to reduce
the number of the world Wrong verb form
reducing
population
because women
empowerment Change noun form
women's
palys
a crucial role in society. Correct your spelling
plays
This
means, educating awareness of the
Correct article usage
apply
birth
control
to women
that
can assist to reduce Correct pronoun usage
apply
increasing
the Verb problem
reducing
population
because women
can teach to
Change preposition
apply
their
next generation about Change the word
the
birth
control
and it will help in future too. For instance
, numerous nations
are provided
Wrong verb form
provide
a
training Correct article usage
apply
session
to Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
new
married couples Change the word
newly
by
Change preposition
apply
the
local authorities and doctors about Correct article usage
apply
birth
control
, this
helps them to
avoid more children. Verb problem
apply
Also
, women
education is a Change noun form
women's
long term
promising Add a hyphen
long-term
approach
to reverse this
situation.
In conclusion, although
having one
Correct determiner usage
a
child
policy reduces to increase Correct your spelling
one-child
the
Change preposition
in the
population
in developing nations
in order to poverty rates might be diminished, education
of Correct article usage
The education
women
about birth
control
can reverse this
trend because this
is a long term
promising Add a hyphen
long-term
approach
. However
, in my opinion, about this
, women
Change noun form
women's
eduaction
is a better Correct your spelling
education
approach
for
reversing overpopulation.Change preposition
to
Submitted by reanudeepan on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay has addressed both viewpoints as required. However, make sure to clarify certain arguments more precisely to increase the coherence.
coherence cohesion
To raise your score, work on organizing your points more effectively. Each paragraph should introduce a new idea and tie it back to the main argument.
task achievement
You have included examples, which is great. To improve, ensure that they clearly support the points you are making and are elaborated upon to show their relevance.
general
Pay attention to grammar and vocabulary. Simple errors in spelling and tense can distract from your argument. Re-read your essay to catch these mistakes.
introduction conclusion
Your conclusion is clear and restates your main argument, which is excellent. Ensuring your introduction is equally effective will make a significant difference.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your position, which sets a good context for the reader.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with paragraphs focusing on different viewpoints.
task achievement
You included specific examples, like the Chinese one-child policy, which helps to illustrate your points.