In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some
university
students
like to attend
university
close to
home
and live at
home
with their family, others like to choose to study away from
home
and live in another city. Surely they all have several reasons for the choice.
However
, in my opinion, living away from
home
is better for a
university
student. Generally,
university
students
are a group of people that just of age, and just got the taste of "freedom". First of all, at
this
stage of
life
, it is important for them to learn to be independent in their
life
, and living away from
home
during
university
is a perfect way to help them
to
Verb problem
apply
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fit in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society in the future
,
Remove the comma
apply
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because they need to take care of themselves in every aspect of their
life
,
for example
, going to hospital on their own, renting a house by themselves, and the most important thing is managing their money. It is hard to learn these kinds of skills and experiences when
students
choose to live at
home
with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. What's more, during the
university
period, is
easier
Add an article
an easier
show examples
time for them to get out of
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
their comfort
show examples
zone and
making
Wrong verb form
make
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new friends,
also
building
Wrong verb form
build
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connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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in
another city
Fix the agreement mistake
other cities
show examples
,
this
connection might be useful for their
life
when they step
in
Change preposition
into
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. From the perspective of the
students
who choose to live at
home
, I understand there are many reasons for their choice. And I know the
students
are not the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
to make the decision, there are many factors, like the economic condition,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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control of the family.
However
, the most important thing is the
university
they choose
whether
Correct word choice
which
show examples
is the best for them.
Submitted by fiasngs on

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introduction conclusion present
Provide a stronger conclusion to summarize your main points and restate your position clearly.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to support your arguments, such as personal experiences or statistical data.
supported main points
Ensure that all main points are fully supported and explained in detail. Avoid assuming the reader understands your implications.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments.
complete response
You have effectively addressed both perspectives before stating your own opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have illustrated clear and comprehensive ideas, particularly around the importance of independence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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