Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools are not necessary. Instead, children should be learning useful subjects such as science and computers. Do you agree or disagree?
In my opinion to agree or disagree with the description that Some people say that time and money spent on rap classes in schools are not necessary.
Instead
, offspring should be learning useful subjects
such
as science and computers.is an important issue to discuss, first I will agreement supporting this
explanation after which some aspects against it will be discussed. To begin
with, despite my disagreement, a category of individuals advocate that pupils must acquire artistic subjects
in order to conserve their cultural identity. This
is because when youth study these syllabi, they acquire an in-depth understanding of their civilization along with
the evolution that their country has witnessed over the centuries. For instance
, in Egypt, educational institutions are keen on introducing history subjects
to the current generation in order to obtain a comprehensive view of their Pharaonic civilization and how music influenced their culture. Thus
, what can be said is that, according to
their claims, these subjects
are pivotal for the development of the
sense of patriotism in young adults.
On the one hand , many people agree with Correct article usage
a
this
description for many important reasons. The most significant is that I believe the tune west the time for offspring not useful in addition
offspring when listening to the melody and dance learn bad behaviour other
reasons for side heath Correct word choice
and other
l
consider dangerous for hearing . for example
, many offspring when listening a
long time to pieces have problems with hearing .
Change preposition
for a
On the other hand
, many populations oppose this
statement for many reasons the most significant is that development would be for science and computers not for tune . l
believe the piece period changed the subjects
and relaxed for offspring and a moving way to study hard . For example
, 50% of students when listening to the tune in
exams answer correctly.
In conclusion, Add a hyphen
tune-in
l
struggled with the disagreeing idea supporting this
statement because its drawbacks outweigh for instance
l
believe the subject rock changes the mood of students as well and l
consider periods to move to another subject so it leaves me no doubt that l
think to disagree with descriptionSubmitted by [email protected] on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a viewpoint on the topic, but it lacks clarity in several parts. Be sure to refine your arguments to make them more coherent.
introduction conclusion present
Develop a clear introduction that outlines your main points, and ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and provides closure.
supported main points
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Directly address the question and ensure that your response fully covers both sides of the argument, if applicable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that your ideas are presented logically and in a well-organized manner. Breaking down complex sentences can help with clarity.
relevant specific examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to bolster your arguments. This will help illustrate your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the essay topic.