Some people say that time and money spent on music classes in schools are not necessary. Instead, children should be learning useful subjects such as science and computers. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #money #music #classes #schools #children #subjects #science #computers

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In my opinion to agree or disagree with the description that Some people say that time and money spent on rap classes in schools are not necessary.

Instead

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, offspring should be learning useful

subjects

Use synonyms

such

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as science and computers.is an important issue to discuss, first I will agreement supporting

this

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explanation after which some aspects against it will be discussed.

To begin

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with, despite my disagreement, a category of individuals advocate that pupils must acquire artistic

subjects

Use synonyms

in order to conserve their cultural identity.

This

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is because when youth study these syllabi, they acquire an in-depth understanding of their civilization

along with

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the evolution that their country has witnessed over the centuries.

For instance

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, in Egypt, educational institutions are keen on introducing history

subjects

Use synonyms

to the current generation in order to obtain a comprehensive view of their Pharaonic civilization and how music influenced their culture.

Thus

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, what can be said is that,

according to

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their claims, these

subjects

Use synonyms

are pivotal for the development of

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of patriotism in young adults. On the one hand , many people agree with

this

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description for many important reasons. The most significant is that I believe the tune west the time for offspring not useful

in addition

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offspring when listening to the melody and dance learn bad behaviour

other

Correct word choice

and other

show examples

reasons for side heath

Use synonyms

consider dangerous for hearing .

for example

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, many offspring when listening

Change preposition

for a

show examples

long time to pieces have problems with hearing .

On the other hand

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, many populations oppose

this

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statement for many reasons the most significant is that development would be for science and computers not for tune .

Use synonyms

believe the piece period changed the

subjects

Use synonyms

and relaxed for offspring and a moving way to study hard .

For example

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, 50% of students when listening to the

tune in

Add a hyphen

tune-in

show examples

exams answer correctly. In conclusion,

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struggled with the disagreeing idea supporting

this

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statement because its drawbacks outweigh

for instance

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Use synonyms

believe the subject rock changes the mood of students as well and

Use synonyms

consider periods to move to another subject so it leaves me no doubt that

Use synonyms

think to disagree with description

Submitted by almeem on Mon Jul 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a viewpoint on the topic, but it lacks clarity in several parts. Be sure to refine your arguments to make them more coherent.

introduction conclusion present

Develop a clear introduction that outlines your main points, and ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and provides closure.

supported main points

Support your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing.

task achievement

Directly address the question and ensure that your response fully covers both sides of the argument, if applicable.

clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure that your ideas are presented logically and in a well-organized manner. Breaking down complex sentences can help with clarity.

relevant specific examples

Include more relevant and specific examples to bolster your arguments. This will help illustrate your points more effectively.

coherence cohesion

You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the essay topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

356 words

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