IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, the no. of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

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It is true that the proportion of flora and fauna in different parts of the world is dropping significantly. There are many reasons
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for
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why are we facing
this
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 problem and steps can definitely be taken to tackle
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, the main reason is
destruction
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the destruction
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 of forests. Many plants and
animals
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 live and grow in rainforests. Destroying the forests would have
negative
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a negative
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 impact on
animals
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 habitats.
Secondly
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, many
animals
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 become the prey of hunters.
For instance
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, in
Iran
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Iran,
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 the breed of rare birds has gone extinct.
Still
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Still,
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 the hunters don’t understand and keep hunting for
animals
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.
Lastly
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, Climate change
makes
Verb problem
has
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 a significant impact on biodiversity. Fauna life is not able to survive in harsh and scorching weather conditions.
Hence
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, not only the humans but
also
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 the plant and animal kingdom is severely affected by the global warming. Though
this
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 problem cannot be entirely solved,
but
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in my opinion,
the
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measures can be taken to mitigate
this
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 issue.
To begin
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 with, the government should take steps to stop the hunting of
animals
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 especially, scarce species.
Moreover
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, the govt should ban
the
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apply
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deforestation especially the places which are the sites of creatures. The authorities should emphasise
on
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apply
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the development of electric vehicles. These vehicles could reduce the release the carbon dioxide which in turn can enhance the quality of air and
as a
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consequence
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consequence,
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 the ecosystem would be prevented.
Additionally
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, the industries should invest in renewable energies
instead
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 of fossil fuels. Fortunately, in various
states
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states,
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government
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governments
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 keep
budget
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budgets
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 for researching renewable resources and energies In conclusion, the authorities and governments would be able to mitigate
this
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 issue only and only if they prioritize these areas.

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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more fully with additional examples and explanations. For instance, the idea of hunters affecting animal populations could be expanded with statistics or broader context.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas smoothly with linking words and phrases. For example, instead of saying, 'Firstly, the main reason is destruction of forests,' you could say 'Firstly, deforestation plays a significant role in this problem.'
task achievement
You clearly address both parts of the task: explaining why the decline in flora and fauna is happening and suggesting possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a sense of completion to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
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