In many countries, the no. of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
It is true that the proportion of flora and fauna in different parts of the world is dropping significantly. There are many reasons
Change preposition
apply
for
why are we facing Change preposition
apply
this
problem and steps can definitely be taken to tackle this
problem.
Firstly
, the main reason is destruction
of forests. Many plants and Add an article
the destruction
animals
live and grow in rainforests. Destroying the forests would have negative
impact on Add an article
a negative
animals
habitats. Secondly
, many animals
become the prey of hunters. For instance
, in Iran
the breed of rare birds has gone extinct. Add a comma
Iran,
Still
the hunters don’t understand and keep hunting for Add a comma
Still,
animals
. Lastly
, Climate change makes
a significant impact on biodiversity. Fauna life is not able to survive in harsh and scorching weather conditions. Verb problem
has
Hence
, not only the humans but also
the plant and animal kingdom is severely affected by the global warming.
Though this
problem cannot be entirely solved, but
in my opinion, Remove the conjunction
apply
the
measures can be taken to mitigate Correct article usage
apply
this
issue. To begin
with, the government should take steps to stop the hunting of animals
especially, scarce species. Moreover
, the govt should ban the
deforestation especially the places which are the sites of creatures. The authorities should emphasise Correct article usage
apply
on
the development of electric vehicles. These vehicles could reduce the release the carbon dioxide which in turn can enhance the quality of air and Change preposition
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as a
consequence
the ecosystem would be prevented. Add a comma
consequence,
Additionally
, the industries should invest in renewable energies instead
of fossil fuels. Fortunately, in various states
Add a comma
states,
government
keep Fix the agreement mistake
governments
budget
for researching renewable resources and energies
In conclusion, the authorities and governments would be able to mitigate Fix the agreement mistake
budgets
this
issue only and only if they prioritize these areas.Submitted by simrangupta98115 on
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task achievement
Try to develop your arguments more fully with additional examples and explanations. For instance, the idea of hunters affecting animal populations could be expanded with statistics or broader context.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas smoothly with linking words and phrases. For example, instead of saying, 'Firstly, the main reason is destruction of forests,' you could say 'Firstly, deforestation plays a significant role in this problem.'
task achievement
You clearly address both parts of the task: explaining why the decline in flora and fauna is happening and suggesting possible solutions.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a sense of completion to the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?