IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

•It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is beer in the countryside. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#•it #city #life #beer #countryside
I believe that
people
 who live in big cities have more opportunities than the
people
 who live in the countryside
For example
, the
people
 who live in the countryside have a limited number of schools,
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they don't have the best education
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the big cities.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 another perspective, I find it easier to live in a small town, everyone knows each other because of their small community, each place is near the other which is great actually because there won't be any traffic,
also
 it's so serene there, and I think living in
such
 environment will make you a calm person but other than that I wouldn't choose to live there In my personal experience, I live in a big city where everything is noisy and moves fast, the traffic is terrible, and it's always crowded. Yet
people
 here tend to help each other which makes it beautiful,
also
 there are a lot of cafes and restaurants and many places to go to. We have huge buildings which I love, and the beaches, Living in the countryside is easier, but not the easier the better
Submitted by judekhalid2909 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Your essay requires a more structured and detailed introduction and conclusion. This creates a stronger framework for your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and supported with specific examples. This can improve the clarity and persuasiveness of your essay.
logical structure
Improve the logical flow of the essay by clearly linking each paragraph to the overall argument, using linking words and phrases for better cohesion.
complete response
You have shown an understanding of both perspectives on living in cities versus the countryside, which enhances the balance in your essay.
relevant specific examples
Your essay includes some specific examples and personal experiences which make your points clear and relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: