IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people believe that the activity of large multinational corporations mostly benefits the economy of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #activity #corporations #economy #countries #multinationals
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There is no denying the fact that the activity of large multinational corporations.
While
 it is a commonly held belief that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
large
of
Change preposition
apply
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multinational corporations
activity
Replace the word
are active
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, there is
also
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the large job creation often establish factories,
officees
Correct your spelling
offices
officers
 and supply chains in developing nations,
to begin
 with, multinational corporations,
In other words
, technology transfer
In addition
, bring new technologies
for example
 developing countries. Another point to consider other people feel these
multinational
Fix the agreement mistake
multinationals
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 are harmful, it is
also
 possible to say that poor working conditions.
Moreover
 limited job security
for instance
the
Correct article usage
apply
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poor safety. In conclusion despite people having different views, I believe that All the developed countries or nations
are help
Change the verb form
are helping
show examples
 to
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 year by year
Submitted by aldanahalnufaie5 on

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task achievement
Improve the introduction to clearly present both views and a clear thesis statement. Structure your introduction with background information leading to your main point.
task achievement
Support your main points with clear arguments and relevant examples. Explain how these examples relate to your arguments and strengthen your position.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help with the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Add a more conclusive closing that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion in light of the discussion presented in the essay.
task achievement
You've attempted to address both views in the essay.
task achievement
You mention key points such as job creation, technology transfer, and poor working conditions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Job creation
  • Technology transfer
  • Economic growth
  • Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
  • Exploitation of labor
  • Unfair labor practices
  • Working conditions
  • Job security
  • Environmental degradation
  • Pollution
  • Deforestation
  • Depletion of natural resources
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Erosion of local cultures
  • Balance and regulation
  • Host countries
  • Implement policies
  • Mitigate negative impacts
  • Enforcing labor laws
  • Environmental regulations
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