Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
modern era,
This
time so many families move
to other countries for work. Because here not achivied
the jobs Correct your spelling
achieved
according to
qualifaction
and some worker find the work but employer Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
not
pay good Change the verb form
does not
did not
saleey
, Correct your spelling
salary
sale
benifits
, overtime etc. Here boss Correct your spelling
benefits
need
hard Change the verb form
needs
worker
or not Fix the agreement mistake
workers
gives
good money. That big reason for Wrong verb form
give
this
happen.
In our countery
people have good Correct your spelling
country
buissness
. But He Correct your spelling
business
move
only for kids. Change the verb form
moves
For
example
Add a comma
example,
Difrent
Correct your spelling
different
contry
have Great colleges, Schools, Correct your spelling
country
Play grounds
, Correct your spelling
Playgrounds
Correct word choice
and Hospitels
Hospitels
. Correct your spelling
Hospitals
Main
reason crime level is very low. Best for Correct article usage
The main
famileys
and Correct your spelling
families
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
going
alone Change the verb form
to go
any where
without security and all members feel safe and secure.
In Join the words
anywhere
This
world
all person thinking Add a comma
world,
are
not Correct subject-verb agreement
is
same
. He Correct article usage
the same
belived
moved Correct your spelling
believed
other
place Correct quantifier usage
another
not
good for Add a missing verb
is not
childes
because they face difficult problems Correct your spelling
children
for example
culture
are not Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
equels
. Langues issues. Kids have no friends without Correct your spelling
equal
colekes
Correct your spelling
cookies
colleges
feel
alone. so not good for her.
My opinion is not Correct word choice
and feel
move
to Change the verb form
to move
moving
new
place because if Add an article
a new
the new
i
need help. All Change the capitalization
I
friends
are here and they help me and every time stand back on me. I know about our Correct pronoun usage
my friends
countery
very well. so Correct your spelling
country
i
Change the capitalization
I
am not
Change the verb form
am not moving
move
to other place
.
Thank youChange the wording
another place
other places
Submitted by sunnytalwan065 on
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grammar
Improve your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Several sentences are difficult to understand due to grammar issues and typos.
structure
Develop a clear introduction and conclusion. This will help give your essay a better structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will add more depth to your arguments and make them more convincing. For instance, instead of just stating that different countries have great colleges, you could name a country and a specific renowned institution.
elaboration
Expand on each argument more thoroughly. You have briefly mentioned some good points, but they need more elaboration. For example, explain in more detail how moving to another country might help children's education or why cultural differences might be challenging.
task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the essay question.
ideas
Your essay contains some good points about the opportunities in other countries and the potential difficulties children might face when moving abroad.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.