Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
modern era,
This
time so many families
move
to other countries for work. Because here not
achivied
Correct your spelling
achieved
the jobs
according to
qualifaction
Correct your spelling
qualification
qualifications
and some worker find the work but employer
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
pay good
saleey
Correct your spelling
salary
sale
,
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
, overtime etc. Here boss
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
hard
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
or not
gives
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
good money. That big reason for
this
happen. In our
countery
Correct your spelling
country
people have good
buissness
Correct your spelling
business
. But He
move
Change the verb form
moves
show examples
only for kids.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
Difrent
Correct your spelling
different
contry
Correct your spelling
country
have Great colleges, Schools,
Play grounds
Correct your spelling
Playgrounds
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and Hospitels
show examples
Hospitels
Correct your spelling
Hospitals
.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
show examples
reason crime level is very low. Best for
famileys
Correct your spelling
families
and
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
show examples
going
Change the verb form
to go
show examples
alone
any where
Join the words
anywhere
show examples
without security and all members feel safe and secure. In
This
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
all person thinking
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. He
belived
Correct your spelling
believed
moved
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
place
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
good for
childes
Correct your spelling
children
because they face difficult problems
for example
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
are not
equels
Correct your spelling
equal
. Langues issues. Kids have no friends without
colekes
Correct your spelling
cookies
colleges
feel
Correct word choice
and feel
show examples
alone. so not good for her. My opinion is not
move
Change the verb form
to move
moving
show examples
to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
place because if
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
need help. All
friends
Correct pronoun usage
my friends
show examples
are here and they help me and every time stand back on me. I know about our
countery
Correct your spelling
country
very well. so
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
am not
Change the verb form
am not moving
show examples
move
to
other place
Change the wording
another place
other places
show examples
. Thank you
Submitted by sunnytalwan065 on

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grammar
Improve your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Several sentences are difficult to understand due to grammar issues and typos.
structure
Develop a clear introduction and conclusion. This will help give your essay a better structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will add more depth to your arguments and make them more convincing. For instance, instead of just stating that different countries have great colleges, you could name a country and a specific renowned institution.
elaboration
Expand on each argument more thoroughly. You have briefly mentioned some good points, but they need more elaboration. For example, explain in more detail how moving to another country might help children's education or why cultural differences might be challenging.
task response
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the essay question.
ideas
Your essay contains some good points about the opportunities in other countries and the potential difficulties children might face when moving abroad.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migration
  • Globalization
  • Opportunities
  • Diversity
  • Assimilation
  • Adaptability
  • Language acquisition
  • Education
  • Career prospects
  • Social connections
  • Isolation
  • Cultural identity
  • Support systems
  • Parental guidance
  • Ambiguous
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