Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

2.0 / 9

Band scoreView breakdown ↓

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Introduction

this

Linking Words

modern era,

Body paragraph 1

This

Linking Words

time so many families

move

Use synonyms

to other countries for work. Because here not

achivied

Correct your spelling

achieved

the jobs

according to

Linking Words

qualifaction

Correct your spelling

qualification

qualifications

and some worker find the work but employer

not

Change the verb form

does not

did not

show examples

pay good

saleey

Correct your spelling

salary

sale

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

, overtime etc. Here boss

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

hard

worker

Fix the agreement mistake

workers

show examples

or not

gives

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

good money. That big reason for

this

Linking Words

happen.

Body paragraph 2

In our

countery

Correct your spelling

country

people have good

buissness

Correct your spelling

business

. But He

Use synonyms

move

Change the verb form

moves

show examples

only for kids.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

Difrent

Correct your spelling

different

contry

Correct your spelling

country

have Great colleges, Schools,

Play grounds

Correct your spelling

Playgrounds

show examples

Correct word choice

and Hospitels

show examples

Hospitels

Correct your spelling

Hospitals

Main

Correct article usage

The main

show examples

reason crime level is very low. Best for

famileys

Correct your spelling

families

and

woman

Fix the agreement mistake

women

show examples

going

Change the verb form

to go

show examples

alone

any where

Join the words

anywhere

show examples

without security and all members feel safe and secure.

Body paragraph 3

This

Linking Words

world

Add a comma

world,

show examples

all person thinking

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

. He

belived

Correct your spelling

believed

moved

other

Correct quantifier usage

another

show examples

place

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

good for

childes

Correct your spelling

children

because they face difficult problems

for example

Linking Words

culture

Fix the agreement mistake

cultures

show examples

are not

equels

Correct your spelling

equal

. Langues issues. Kids have no friends without

colekes

Correct your spelling

colleges

feel

Correct word choice

and feel

show examples

alone. so not good for her.

Body paragraph 4

My opinion is not

Use synonyms

move

Change the verb form

to move

moving

show examples

new

Add an article

a new

the new

show examples

place because if

Change the capitalization

show examples

need help. All

friends

Correct pronoun usage

my friends

show examples

are here and they help me and every time stand back on me. I know about our

countery

Correct your spelling

country

very well. so

Change the capitalization

show examples

am not

Change the verb form

am not moving

show examples

move

Use synonyms

other place

Change the wording

another place

other places

show examples

Conclusion

Thank you

sunnytalwan065

Jul 8, 2024

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grammar

Improve your grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. Several sentences are difficult to understand due to grammar issues and typos.

structure

Develop a clear introduction and conclusion. This will help give your essay a better structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

examples

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will add more depth to your arguments and make them more convincing. For instance, instead of just stating that different countries have great colleges, you could name a country and a specific renowned institution.

elaboration

Expand on each argument more thoroughly. You have briefly mentioned some good points, but they need more elaboration. For example, explain in more detail how moving to another country might help children's education or why cultural differences might be challenging.

task response

You have addressed both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the essay question.

ideas

Your essay contains some good points about the opportunities in other countries and the potential difficulties children might face when moving abroad.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

193 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Migration
Globalization
Opportunities
Diversity
Assimilation
Adaptability
Language acquisition
Education
Career prospects
Social connections
Isolation
Cultural identity
Support systems
Parental guidance
Ambiguous

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Topic 2: These days many families move to other countries for work. Some people believe that the children in these families benefit from this move. However, others believe that it makes life more difficult for the children. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rate. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [192]

Some children spend hours everyday on their smart devices. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Write a letter to the hotel, making the arrangements. In your letter •tell them when you will be arriving and leaving •explain what type of rooms you would like, and ask how much the weekend will cost •ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel