Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #instead”

The given information shows that there are two different

opinion

Change to a plural noun

opinions

show examples

First

Change the article

The first

show examples

one shows all wild animals should be protected and

on the other hand

suggested

Wrong verb form

suggests

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only

few

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a few

show examples

wild animals should be protected. Personally, I would like to say that both opinions

are have

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have

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persuasive power. First of all, if

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

man

try

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tries

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to protect all wild animals

then

it might

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

bring about

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

safety in third-world

such

as Africa or

Mongol

Correct your spelling

Mongolia

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; Of course, the standard line of 'develop' is different by person. Second of all, in the case of

build

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building

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zoo

Add an article

a zoo

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or education place by

government

Add an article

the government

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, NGO:

Non-government

Correct word choice

or Non-government

show examples

organisation

Fix the agreement mistake

organisations

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. etc.

Then

it would be

great

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a great

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chance to

teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

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and

playing

Wrong verb form

play

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with our child

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during

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the holiday. If people spend time and money

for

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

such

Add an article

the zoo

a zoo

show examples

zoo

Fix the agreement mistake

zoos

show examples

then

it will bring about

green

Correct article usage

a green

show examples

signal

Change preposition

for

show examples

economy

Add an article

the economy

show examples

Submitted by bitnara01 on Tue Jul 09 2024

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task achievement

Provide more detailed support for main points to improve the response's completeness.

task achievement

Include specific examples to better illustrate your points and make your response more convincing.

coherence

Reorganize the ideas to ensure a clear and logical structure.

coherence

Ensure there's a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and gives your final opinion.

cohesion

Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay.

cohesion

Check for grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for more clarity.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views on the topic, providing a balanced discussion.

coherence

There is an attempt to provide supporting points for both sides of the argument.

coherence

The essay's introduction sets up the topic and the two different perspectives on it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

139 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that all wild animals should be protected. Others say that few wild animals should be protected instead”. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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Some people think that it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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