IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Every year several language die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion.

#year #language #people #life #languages
We cannot deny that the increasing extinction of
languages
 has brought anxiety
as well as
 fun to some individuals because they believe that if a lot of
languages
 die out, we will cancel numerous problems in our lives. From my perspective, I agree with the idea and I will explain the reason why I believe it. On the one hand, when we focus on the issues, we can easily realize that the number of
languages
 disappearing will have many drawbacks
such
 as: difficulties in scientific development, archeology, etc. For starters, Thousands of years ago, people left behind many historical relics, ruins and ancient
languages
 as the result of discovering, excavating and understanding the meaning that the ancients wanted to leave us are extremely essential.
Therefore
, eliminating some
languages
 will create an abundance of difficulties for archaeologists.
In addition
, Scientists
also
 need to learn and research information about the history of ancient medicinal plants and
this
 will be challenging or If that dialect disappears, it will be like losing its national character and that country will become extinct.
On the other hand
, the disappearance of some minority
languages
 brings a great deal of benefits
such
 as: connection, education, etc.
First,
when we terminate various
languages
, we can save a lot of money because having too many
languages
 will cause several students to have to attend language classes.
In addition
, when the sound is unified, learning about education in plenty of developed countries will make it easier for parents to easily teach and help children develop in a better environment.
Secondly
, when we use the same voice, we can limit the risk of being deceived when signing large contracts. All in all, eliminating language brings a lot of benefits to me, but it's only true when those expressions are not used by a plethora of people and almost no one cares. If major
languages
 disappear, it will greatly affect the world and voice is
also
 the simplest way to clearly express sovereignty.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your essay clearly responds to the task, ensure you are addressing all parts of the question comprehensively. Try to provide a balanced view that discusses both sides of the argument more thoroughly.
task achievement
Ensure your main points are supported with specific examples and detailed explanations. This will help make your arguments more substantial.
coherence and cohesion
Work on ensuring all paragraphs are well-developed and each idea flows smoothly into the next. Use cohesive devices effectively to link sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Strive for clarity in your sentences and avoid overly complex or convoluted structures. This will help in improving coherence and making your essay easier to follow.
introduction and conclusion present
Your essay has a strong introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main ideas effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
The points you raised are relevant and clear, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.
logical structure
You have a solid logical structure in place, and your essay generally flows well from one point to the next.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: