The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The
movies
Use synonyms
produced out of Hollywood
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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the most popular
movies
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in the world.
As a result
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, other
countreys'
Correct your spelling
countries'
film
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producers are changing their ways to achieve similar success. To prevent that , the government of these countries should fund their industries to uphold their customs and traditions. I strongly believe
this
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is a necessary step to keep the diversity of cinemas intact.
Due to
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the popularity of
The
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apply
show examples
American films, local
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film makers
Correct your spelling
film-makers
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are producing copycat cinemas,
as a result
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,
movies
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based on local history, tradition and culture are decreasing in number. Producers are pressuring directors to follow a certain formula to please the audience, resulting in
movies
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that
promotes
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promote
show examples
Correct article usage
a western
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western
Capitalize word
Western
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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. Original scripts that tell the story of the people and their lives,
Correct word choice
and promotes
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promotes
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promote
show examples
the songs and customs of the land get squashed in the bin
as a result
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.
For instance
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, Padma Nodir Majhi is a Bangladeshi
film
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that was produced in the 90's, which shows the daily lives of the local fishermen, their romances and their struggle in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society and against the climate. Nowadays,
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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types of
movies
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are impossible to make. To prevent
this
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, the government should take
actions
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action
show examples
as their responsibility is not only to run a country
,
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apply
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but
also
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to uphold and guarantee the sustainability of their culture. They should try to solve the obstacles the local industries face. To motivate the
stake holders
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stakeholders
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, they should take several initiatives.
For example
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,
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
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donations for
film
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production
Fix the agreement mistake
productions
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that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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about local customs,
award
Correct word choice
and award
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ceremony
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ceremonies
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such
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as Oscar
that is
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for local
movies
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can be a great motivator as well. In conclusion, The American
film
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industries are changing the way of cinema making around the world. If
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
do not step up and provide donations and funds to promote local films, their tradition
are
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is
show examples
at risk of becoming extinct.
Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on

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Grammatical Accuracy
There are a few grammatical issues and typos that need to be addressed, such as 'countreys' instead of 'countries' and 'promotes the songs and customs' which should be 'promote the songs and customs.'
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and detailed support for your points, as this can help strengthen your argument and achieve a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to improve cohesion.
Task Response
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a clear stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is logical and well-organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the mention of the film 'Padma Nodir Majhi,' adds strength to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Americanisation
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Local cinema
  • Cultural diversity
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Film subsidies
  • National identity
  • Artistic expression
  • Blockbusters
  • Cultural preservation
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