The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The
movies
produced out of Hollywood
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the most popular
movies
in the world.
As a result
, other
countreys'
Correct your spelling
countries'
film
producers are changing their ways to achieve similar success. To prevent that , the government of these countries should fund their industries to uphold their customs and traditions. I strongly believe
this
is a necessary step to keep the diversity of cinemas intact.
Due to
the popularity of
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American films, local
film makers
Correct your spelling
film-makers
show examples
are producing copycat cinemas,
as a result
,
movies
based on local history, tradition and culture are decreasing in number. Producers are pressuring directors to follow a certain formula to please the audience, resulting in
movies
that
promotes
Change the verb form
promote
show examples
Correct article usage
a western
show examples
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. Original scripts that tell the story of the people and their lives,
Correct word choice
and promotes
show examples
promotes
Change the verb form
promote
show examples
the songs and customs of the land get squashed in the bin
as a result
.
For instance
, Padma Nodir Majhi is a Bangladeshi
film
that was produced in the 90's, which shows the daily lives of the local fishermen, their romances and their struggle in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and against the climate. Nowadays,
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
types of
movies
are impossible to make. To prevent
this
, the government should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
as their responsibility is not only to run a country
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
to uphold and guarantee the sustainability of their culture. They should try to solve the obstacles the local industries face. To motivate the
stake holders
Correct your spelling
stakeholders
show examples
, they should take several initiatives.
For example
,
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
donations for
film
production
Fix the agreement mistake
productions
show examples
that
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
about local customs,
award
Correct word choice
and award
show examples
ceremony
Fix the agreement mistake
ceremonies
show examples
such
as Oscar
that is
for local
movies
can be a great motivator as well. In conclusion, The American
film
industries are changing the way of cinema making around the world. If
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
do not step up and provide donations and funds to promote local films, their tradition
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
at risk of becoming extinct.
Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on

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Grammatical Accuracy
There are a few grammatical issues and typos that need to be addressed, such as 'countreys' instead of 'countries' and 'promotes the songs and customs' which should be 'promote the songs and customs.'
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and detailed support for your points, as this can help strengthen your argument and achieve a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to improve cohesion.
Task Response
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a clear stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is logical and well-organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the mention of the film 'Padma Nodir Majhi,' adds strength to the argument.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Americanisation
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Local cinema
  • Cultural diversity
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Film subsidies
  • National identity
  • Artistic expression
  • Blockbusters
  • Cultural preservation
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