The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The
movies
produced out of Hollywood is
the most popular Correct subject-verb agreement
are
movies
in the world. As a result
, other countreys'
Correct your spelling
countries'
film
producers are changing their ways to achieve similar success. To prevent that , the government of these countries should fund their industries to uphold their customs and traditions. I strongly believe this
is a necessary step to keep the diversity of cinemas intact.
Due to
the popularity of The
American films, local Correct article usage
apply
film makers
are producing copycat cinemas, Correct your spelling
film-makers
as a result
, movies
based on local history, tradition and culture are decreasing in number. Producers are pressuring directors to follow a certain formula to please the audience, resulting in movies
that promotes
Change the verb form
promote
Correct article usage
a western
western
Capitalize word
Western
life style
. Original scripts that tell the story of the people and their lives, Correct your spelling
lifestyle
Correct word choice
and promotes
promotes
the songs and customs of the land get squashed in the bin Change the verb form
promote
as a result
. For instance
, Padma Nodir Majhi is a Bangladeshi film
that was produced in the 90's, which shows the daily lives of the local fishermen, their romances and their struggle in the
society and against the climate. Nowadays, Correct article usage
apply
this
types of Correct determiner usage
these
movies
are impossible to make.
To prevent this
, the government should take actions
as their responsibility is not only to run a countryFix the agreement mistake
action
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to uphold and guarantee the sustainability of their culture. They should try to solve the obstacles the local industries face. To motivate the stake holders
, they should take several initiatives. Correct your spelling
stakeholders
For example
, provide
donations for Wrong verb form
providing
film
production
Fix the agreement mistake
productions
that
is
about local customs, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
award
Correct word choice
and award
ceremony
Fix the agreement mistake
ceremonies
such
as Oscar that is
for local movies
can be a great motivator as well.
In conclusion, The American film
industries are changing the way of cinema making around the world. If government
do not step up and provide donations and funds to promote local films, their tradition Add an article
the government
are
at risk of becoming extinct.Change the verb form
is
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Grammatical Accuracy
There are a few grammatical issues and typos that need to be addressed, such as 'countreys' instead of 'countries' and 'promotes the songs and customs' which should be 'promote the songs and customs.'
Task Achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and detailed support for your points, as this can help strengthen your argument and achieve a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to improve cohesion.
Task Response
The essay addresses the topic directly and provides a clear stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is logical and well-organized with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples, such as the mention of the film 'Padma Nodir Majhi,' adds strength to the argument.