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task achievement
Try to avoid repetition and redundancies. For example, the phrase 'just in case' is redundant when explaining the reasoning for a teacher needing to know all subjects.
coherence cohesion
Work on the grammatical structures, such as subject-verb agreement and proper sentence formation, to ensure clarity. For example, 'must to learn' should be 'must learn.'
task achievement
Expand on your support for the main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases and connectors more effectively to create smoother transitions between ideas. This will help with the overall flow of the essay.
task achievement
You have presented both perspectives on the issue, which shows a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points, which provides a sense of closure.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.