Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #families #argument #side #support

It is argued that

parents

must stay with their kids in free

time

, and others believe that

this

consideried

Correct your spelling

considered

to be a negative behaviour.

Although

spending

time

with

childern

Correct your spelling

children

will

prevents

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

them

growing

Change preposition

from growing

show examples

independent, I believe that

children

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

care taker

Correct your spelling

caretaker

show examples

around them

while

playing.

On the other hand

, some

parents

are worried that

thier

Correct your spelling

their

child

grow up depending on them all the

time

This

is to say, that being

srrounded

Correct your spelling

surrounded

by the

children

even in playing

time

will increase the attachment between the

child

and the mother.

This

means a

child

will face difficulties spending

time

alone.

As a result

, going to sleep alone would be an issue, because the

child

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

used to

feel

Change the verb form

feeling

show examples

the

parents

around.

For example

, in KSA most of the kids in the first year of primary school are not attending the classes because they are scared

leaving

Change preposition

of leaving

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

parents

and attached to

thier

Correct your spelling

their

moms.

On the other hand

, spending free

time

togather

Correct your spelling

together

to gather

family

Add an article

a family

the family

show examples

is an important thing to do.

Due to

the fact that

children

are

irresposible

Correct your spelling

irresponsible

thier

Correct your spelling

their

behaviours, and

tends

Correct subject-verb agreement

tend

show examples

to make mistakes.

Therefore

, being the

parents

srrounded

Correct your spelling

surrounded

to watch them out is a must.

In other words

, sometimes a

child

might be

curiouse

Correct your spelling

curious

about exploring new things, and because of

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

they

tends

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to do dangerous things

such

as eating insects or playing in the kitchen.

This

is the reason why

parents

should spend

the

Change the word

their

show examples

free

time

watching

thier

Correct your spelling

their

children

For instance

, most of the injuries a

child

can get

was

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

because of

parents

who neglect the importance of

mintoring

Correct your spelling

monitoring their

thier

child

while

playing.

To conclude

while

some people

decided

Wrong verb form

decide

show examples

to teach

thier

Correct your spelling

their

child

being independent by leaving them

spending

Change the verb form

to spend

show examples

some

time

alone, I agree that

parents

should spend

time

with

thier

Correct your spelling

their

kids to take care of them.

Submitted by noufxmut on Tue Jul 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider structuring your essay more clearly by ensuring proper paragraphing and transitions between points. This will help in improving the flow and making your ideas clearer.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the variety and complexity of your sentences to make your arguments more compelling and refined.

task achievement

Avoid minor grammatical and spelling errors, particularly common words like 'responsible,' 'surrounded,' 'curious,' 'monitoring,' and 'their' which were misspelled or incorrectly used.

task achievement

Include more specific and varied examples to support your main points effectively. This will enhance the relevance and impact of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

You presented a clear introduction and conclusion that helps in understanding the main points of your argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses both perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced understanding and making a reasonable case for your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

strengthen family bonds
emotional support
instill values
nurturing environment
secure and loved
social skills
independence
sense of identity
diverse environments
adaptable
open-minded
balanced development
foundational support

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Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Many experts have noted that people in modern society do not exercise often. What is a cause and solution to this problem ?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems as well as practical problems. to what extents do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

You are a student living in university accommodation. The heating has not worked for some time. Write a letter to the management. In your letter Explain why you complain; Describe the problems Tell what you want them to do

In current days people says that influence of adversiting some products are motive to sell products instead of demand of this product, I agree with that because actually people buy products more to instinct than necessity.