Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

#people #children #time #families #argument #side #support

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It is argued that

parents

Use synonyms

must stay with their kids in free

time

Use synonyms

, and others believe that

this

Linking Words

consideried

Correct your spelling

considered

to be a negative behaviour.

Although

Linking Words

spending

time

Use synonyms

with

childern

Correct your spelling

children

will

prevents

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

them

growing

Change preposition

from growing

show examples

independent, I believe that

children

Use synonyms

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

care taker

Correct your spelling

caretaker

show examples

around them

while

Linking Words

playing.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

parents

Use synonyms

are worried that

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

child

Use synonyms

grow up depending on them all the

time

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is to say, that being

srrounded

Correct your spelling

surrounded

by the

children

Use synonyms

even in playing

time

Use synonyms

will increase the attachment between the

child

Use synonyms

and the mother.

This

Linking Words

means a

child

Use synonyms

will face difficulties spending

time

Use synonyms

alone.

As a result

Linking Words

, going to sleep alone would be an issue, because the

child

Use synonyms

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

used to

feel

Change the verb form

feeling

show examples

the

parents

Use synonyms

around.

For example

Linking Words

, in KSA most of the kids in the first year of primary school are not attending the classes because they are scared

leaving

Change preposition

of leaving

show examples

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

parents

Use synonyms

and attached to

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

moms.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, spending free

time

Use synonyms

togather

Correct your spelling

together

to gather

family

Add an article

a family

the family

show examples

is an important thing to do.

Due to

Linking Words

the fact that

children

Use synonyms

are

irresposible

Correct your spelling

irresponsible

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

behaviours, and

tends

Correct subject-verb agreement

tend

show examples

to make mistakes.

Therefore

Linking Words

, being the

parents

Use synonyms

srrounded

Correct your spelling

surrounded

to watch them out is a must.

In other words

Linking Words

, sometimes a

child

Use synonyms

might be

curiouse

Correct your spelling

curious

about exploring new things, and because of

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

they

tends

Change the verb form

tend

show examples

to do dangerous things

such

Linking Words

as eating insects or playing in the kitchen.

This

Linking Words

is the reason why

parents

Use synonyms

should spend

the

Change the word

their

show examples

free

time

Use synonyms

watching

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

children

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, most of the injuries a

child

Use synonyms

can get

was

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

because of

parents

Use synonyms

who neglect the importance of

mintoring

Correct your spelling

monitoring their

thier

Use synonyms

child

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

playing.

To conclude

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

some people

decided

Wrong verb form

decide

show examples

to teach

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

child

Use synonyms

being independent by leaving them

spending

Change the verb form

to spend

show examples

some

time

Use synonyms

alone, I agree that

parents

Use synonyms

should spend

time

Use synonyms

with

Use synonyms

thier

Correct your spelling

their

kids to take care of them.

Submitted by noufxmut on Tue Jul 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Consider structuring your essay more clearly by ensuring proper paragraphing and transitions between points. This will help in improving the flow and making your ideas clearer.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the variety and complexity of your sentences to make your arguments more compelling and refined.

task achievement

Avoid minor grammatical and spelling errors, particularly common words like 'responsible,' 'surrounded,' 'curious,' 'monitoring,' and 'their' which were misspelled or incorrectly used.

task achievement

Include more specific and varied examples to support your main points effectively. This will enhance the relevance and impact of your arguments.

coherence cohesion

You presented a clear introduction and conclusion that helps in understanding the main points of your argument.

task achievement

The essay addresses both perspectives on the topic, showing a balanced understanding and making a reasonable case for your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

strengthen family bonds
emotional support
instill values
nurturing environment
secure and loved
social skills
independence
sense of identity
diverse environments
adaptable
open-minded
balanced development
foundational support

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Some people believe that children should spend all of their free time with their families. Others believe that this is unnecessary or even negative. Discuss the possible argument on both sides, and say which side you personally support.

Include an introduction and conclusion

What are the advantages and disadvantages of smartphone ?

Some people believe today that everyone has a right to access to the Internet and that governments should provide this access for free. Other people believe that access to the internet is not a right and should be paid for like other services. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

The picture shows the process of making wool. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Computer are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it is leading to negative consequences. Discuss both views and give your opinion.