nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Amount of individuals who seek
for
herbal Change preposition
apply
treatment
is
surged recently rather than met the common Verb problem
has
doctor
. The growth in alternative
medical treatment
is increasing due to
the growth of the medical treatment
rate in hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
or
especially Correct word choice
apply
Change preposition
among doctor
doctor
. In my opinion, there are at least 2 reasons behind Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
such
as economic constraint
and trust Fix the agreement mistake
constraints
issue
that Fix the agreement mistake
issues
enforce
Verb problem
force
patient
Correct article usage
the patient
looking
for another way to solve the problem. Change the verb form
to look
Patient
tend to choose Fix the agreement mistake
Patients
alternative
medication to the rescue
The main rational
for Correct your spelling
rationale
people
find
Fix the infinitive
to find
alternative
treatment
is financial reason
. Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
It is
agreed by many that, Correct pronoun usage
Is
health care
facility Correct your spelling
healthcare
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
is
increasing gradually which Correct subject-verb agreement
are
led
Verb problem
makes
to
hard Correct your spelling
it
people
to reach it. In Indonesia especially, marginal Change preposition
for people
people
didn’t have choices to have better access to better treatment
. Health
protection guarantee
from Fix the agreement mistake
guarantees
government
Add an article
the government
is
almost null.
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Furthermore
, it is argued that many of
Change preposition
apply
doctor
is subject to Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
take
advantage Wrong verb form
taking
from
the sales of drugs. Change preposition
of
This
condition is led to distrust to
the Change preposition
of
health
care practitioner. One of Add an article
the doctor
doctor
said that many of them suspect Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
of
antibiotic malfunction Change preposition
apply
due to
irrational use of antibiotic
in their prescription. Fix the agreement mistake
antibiotics
Compare
to herbal Wrong verb form
Compared
health
care which depend
on Change the verb form
depends
the
natural Correct article usage
apply
resource
to cure Fix the agreement mistake
resources
in
Change preposition
apply
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
feel more secure and has minimal sides effect
.
In conclusion, it is understandable for some reason that many Fix the agreement mistake
side effects
of
Change preposition
apply
people
moved to take alternative
medication on their journey. Despite to
the fact that there are so many debates on Change preposition
apply
this
issue, the use of herbal medicine is acceptable base
on their own ability to reach and their Replace the word
based
believes
.Replace the word
beliefs
Submitted by nourmarasyidah on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a more formal and consistent tone throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples in support of your main points to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically to improve the flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay topic is clearly stated in the introduction and you have provided a conclusion for your discussion.
complete response
You have addressed the prompt and provided reasons for the growing number of people seeking alternative medicines.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!