nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Amount of individuals who seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
herbal
treatment
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
surged recently rather than met the common
doctor
. The growth in
alternative
medical
treatment
is increasing
due to
the growth of the medical
treatment
rate in
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
especially
Change preposition
among doctor
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
. In my opinion, there are at least 2 reasons behind
such
as economic
constraint
Fix the agreement mistake
constraints
show examples
and trust
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
that
enforce
Verb problem
force
show examples
patient
Correct article usage
the patient
show examples
looking
Change the verb form
to look
show examples
for another way to solve the problem.
Patient
Fix the agreement mistake
Patients
show examples
tend to choose
alternative
medication to the rescue The main
rational
Correct your spelling
rationale
show examples
for
people
find
Fix the infinitive
to find
show examples
alternative
treatment
is financial
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
.
It is
Correct pronoun usage
Is
show examples
agreed by many that,
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
facility
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
increasing gradually which
led
Verb problem
makes
show examples
to
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
hard
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
to reach it. In Indonesia especially, marginal
people
didn’t have choices to have better access to better
treatment
.
Health
protection
guarantee
Fix the agreement mistake
guarantees
show examples
from
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
almost null.
Furthermore
, it is argued that many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
is subject to
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
advantage
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the sales of drugs.
This
condition is led to distrust
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
health
care practitioner. One of
Add an article
the doctor
show examples
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
said that many of them suspect
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
antibiotic malfunction
due to
irrational use of
antibiotic
Fix the agreement mistake
antibiotics
show examples
in their prescription.
Compare
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
to herbal
health
care which
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
to cure
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
people
feel more secure and has minimal
sides effect
Fix the agreement mistake
side effects
show examples
. In conclusion, it is understandable for some reason that many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
moved to take
alternative
medication on their journey. Despite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that there are so many debates on
this
issue, the use of herbal medicine is acceptable
base
Replace the word
based
show examples
on their own ability to reach and their
believes
Replace the word
beliefs
show examples
.
Submitted by nourmarasyidah on

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coherence cohesion
Try to use a more formal and consistent tone throughout the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples in support of your main points to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Work on sentence structure and grammar to avoid errors and enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas more logically to improve the flow of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay topic is clearly stated in the introduction and you have provided a conclusion for your discussion.
complete response
You have addressed the prompt and provided reasons for the growing number of people seeking alternative medicines.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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