Some university students want to learn about other sujects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is said that studying

Change preposition

apply

show examples

other

subjects

Use synonyms

beside

Change preposition

besides

show examples

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

subjects

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

become prevalent among some university

students

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

some of them think drawing all

attention

Correct pronoun usage

their attention

show examples

and focusing all their time on a subject to gain a qualification is more

imoprtant

Correct your spelling

important

. All science

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

related to each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

, and

for becoming

Change preposition

to become

show examples

a great experts

Correct the article-noun agreement

a great expert

great experts

show examples

, exploring these connections can be necessary

Change preposition

for

show examples

students

Use synonyms

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

a medical

engneer

Correct your spelling

engineer

engineers

who study the science of medical devices

need

Correct subject-verb agreement

needs

show examples

to learn about

human's

Change noun form

human

show examples

anatomy, physiology, diseases, wireless technology and

electromagnity

Correct your spelling

electromagnetic

electromagnet

to can

invente

Correct your spelling

invent

or fix these

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

. By drawing attention to

this

Linking Words

complication

Replace the word

complicated

show examples

issue, Some

universtiy

Correct your spelling

university

students

Use synonyms

may tend to

widened

Change the verb

widen

show examples

their

knowlege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

various areas to have a deeper understanding

Change preposition

show examples

their main

subjects

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people are energic and

interesting

Replace the word

interested

show examples

in various topics. University can be introduced as

Change the article

the

show examples

best place

Change preposition

for to

show examples

students

Use synonyms

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

nurture their interests

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Where using great and

equiped

Correct your spelling

equipped

libraries,

courses

Use synonyms

, and great masters are provided them.

As a

Linking Words

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

they would be able to satisfy their desires.

However

Linking Words

, some think the study of other

subjects

Use synonyms

may create the problem of information overloading and they can become

confuse

Change the verb form

confused

show examples

and bored among all of

Add an article

the knowleges

show examples

knowleges

Correct your spelling

knowledge

knowledges

as a

Linking Words

result

Add the comma(s)

result,

show examples

they would not be able to continue their main

courses

Use synonyms

Finally

Linking Words

, they may lose the chance of

taking

Verb problem

obtaining

show examples

a qualification.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, by studying in a

veriety

Correct your spelling

variety

of areas, the time for deeper studying on the main

subjects

Use synonyms

would be lost. And

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

would not be great experts when they enter

Change preposition

apply

show examples

society. In conclusion, I believe that knowledge and science

Change the verb form

are

show examples

incredibly wide and they overlap

Change preposition

with

show examples

each other. It may be necessary for

students

Use synonyms

to study

Change preposition

apply

show examples

different

subjects

Use synonyms

and

courses

Use synonyms

to have a better understanding of the main

courses

Use synonyms

hg1984Tue Jul 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly hinder comprehension. Try to use simpler, more accurate sentence structures to avoid misunderstandings.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use linking words. For example, phrases like 'On the other hand' can clearly indicate a contrast.

task achievement

Be careful with spelling and typos, such as 'engneer' instead of 'engineer', and 'electromagnity' instead of 'electromagnetism'. These small errors can distract the reader and lower your score.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments clearly.

coherence cohesion

Your structure is logical with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

294 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?
It is often argued that maintaining public libraries is no longer necessary in today’s world because the development of computer technology has allowed us to access a great deal of information on the internet more efficiently. While I accept that there are clear benefits of online libraries over public libraries, I believe that it is still worth spending money on maintaining public libraries.
7.5
band
Some say that it would be better if the majority of employees worked from home instead of travelling to workplace every day. Do you think the advantages of working from home outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.
The last 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in the popularity of remote working. Yet, there remains some disagreement as to whether working from home is more beneficial than travelling to work or it should be banned. Although there are valid arguments to the contrary, in this essay I would contend that the advantages of working from home are incomparable with drawbacks. The reasons for this are as follows.
7.5
band
impact on society of people having a poor work-life balance. some effective strategies for government and employments to ensure people have a good work-life balance?
In recent years, there has been a notable surge in individuals experiencing significant work-related stress. This phenomenon can be attributed to demanding workloads, prolonged working hours, and inadequate support from supervisors. Solutions should be undertaken by the government, such as implementing labour laws that enforce reasonable working hours and promoting workplace wellness programs to alleviate the circumstance.
6
band
Last week you were on a flight to London. Unfortunately, when you got off the plane, you left a bag there. You did not remember about the bag until you got to your hotel. Write a letter to the airline. In your letter explain what has happened describe the bag and its contents say what you would like them to do about this problem
I am writing to enquire that a bag lost during my return to London from Colombo.
7.5
band
First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that first impression in interviews is the most significant factor that guarantees a decent career. While I believe that it plays an integral role in drawing employers' attention, it isn't the key to the security of a job, as there are other significant factors regarding this.

Some university students want to learn about other sujects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

impact on society of people having a poor work-life balance. some effective strategies for government and employments to ensure people have a good work-life balance?

First impressions are important. Some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?