Some university students want to learn about other sujects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is said that studying
on
other Change preposition
apply
subjects
beside
Change preposition
besides
main
Correct article usage
the main
subjects
have
become prevalent among some university Correct subject-verb agreement
has
students
, while
some of them think drawing all attention
and focusing all their time on a subject to gain a qualification is more Correct pronoun usage
their attention
imoprtant
.
All science Correct your spelling
important
are
related to each Correct subject-verb agreement
is
others
, and Change to a singular noun
other
for becoming
Change preposition
to become
a great experts
, exploring these connections can be necessary Correct the article-noun agreement
a great expert
great experts
by
Change preposition
for
students
. For
example
a medical Add a comma
example,
engneer
who study the science of medical devices Correct your spelling
engineer
engineers
need
to learn about Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
human's
anatomy, physiology, diseases, wireless technology and Change noun form
human
electromagnity
to can Correct your spelling
electromagnetic
electromagnet
invente
or fix these Correct your spelling
invent
equipments
. By drawing attention to Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
this
complication
issue, Some Replace the word
complicated
universtiy
Correct your spelling
university
students
may tend to widened
their Change the verb
widen
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
at
various areas to have a deeper understanding Change preposition
in
on
their main Change preposition
of
subjects
. In addition
, the
young people are energic and Correct article usage
apply
interesting
in various topics. University can be introduced as Replace the word
interested
a
best place Change the article
the
to
Change preposition
for to
students
can
nurture their interests Verb problem
apply
on
Change preposition
apply
it
. Where using great and Correct pronoun usage
apply
equiped
libraries, Correct your spelling
equipped
courses
, and great masters are provided them. As a
result
they would be able to satisfy their desires.
Add a comma
result,
However
, some think the study of other subjects
may create the problem of information overloading and they can become confuse
and bored among all of Change the verb form
confused
Add an article
the knowleges
knowleges
, Correct your spelling
knowledge
knowledges
as a
result
they would not be able to continue their main Add the comma(s)
result,
courses
. Finally
, they may lose the chance of taking
a qualification. Verb problem
obtaining
Furthermore
, by studying in a veriety
of areas, the time for deeper studying on the main Correct your spelling
variety
subjects
would be lost. And student
would not be great experts when they enter Fix the agreement mistake
students
to
society.
In conclusion, I believe that knowledge and science Change preposition
apply
is
incredibly wide and they overlap Change the verb form
are
on
each other. It may be necessary for Change preposition
with
students
to study in
different Change preposition
apply
subjects
and courses
to have a better understanding of the main courses
.Submitted by hg1984 on
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task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly hinder comprehension. Try to use simpler, more accurate sentence structures to avoid misunderstandings.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and use linking words. For example, phrases like 'On the other hand' can clearly indicate a contrast.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and typos, such as 'engneer' instead of 'engineer', and 'electromagnity' instead of 'electromagnetism'. These small errors can distract the reader and lower your score.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both viewpoints, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, which helps to illustrate your arguments clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your structure is logical with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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