The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

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The

given

Verb problem

apply

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bar chart shows the data about 5 different

activities

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Australian children usually do in their free time.

Overall

Linking Words

boys

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seem to do more outdoor

activities

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than

girls

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, except for arts and crafts and watching TV.

Besides

Linking Words

, both genders share the same proportions in watching TV or videos. It is easy to notice that male and female kids between the ages of 5 and 14 are more preferred to watch television or videos rather than other

activities

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as the figure accounts for the highest which is 100 per cent, compared to the second highest one, electronic or computer games, being only about 81% for

boys

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and 60% for

girls

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, in most

activities

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boys

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are more active than

girls

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For example

Linking Words

, in bike riding the number of schoolgirls taking part in it is approximately 59%,

in contrast

Linking Words

to almost 80% of schoolboys.

However

Linking Words

, in some handicraft

exercise

Fix the agreement mistake

exercises

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that require meticulous

such

Linking Words

as arts and crafts,

girls

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seem to be more interested than

boys

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lyhuongclcTue Jul 09 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, boys, girls with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

167 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activities
favored
noteworthy trends
disparities
participating
popularity
demographics
speculating
surprising findings
technological advancements
societal changes
promotional efforts
educational planning
balanced lifestyle

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The graph below gives information about the preferred leisure activities of Australian children.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in findingout about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

A government has a responsibility to its citizen to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?