Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree of disagree? Write at least 250 words.
Nowadays,
health
problems the significantly important issues in modern society. Some people
argue the thing that causes an unhealthy lifestyle is sugar
. Some of them might be suggest
the encouragement of consuming less Change the verb form
suggest
sugar
was an increase in sugary product prices. In my opinion, I disagree with this
statement.
The main reason is people
who are addicted to sugar
are not considering consuming sugar
because of its price but they are not aware of how sugar
can affect their health
. I think the governments or healthcare associations should give the
information about the harm of Correct article usage
apply
sugar
, it will raise awareness on the majority of people
to be aware of eating or drinking sugary products.
Moreover
, Sweet foods or sugary beverages are not the only foods that people
receive from sugar
because many fruits contain a lot of sugar
too. I reckon that the healthcare organisation should be published
or inform Wrong verb form
publish
people
about knowledge in foods and nutrition. When people
acknowledge this
information some of them will reconsider their eating behaviour in the long term.
On the other hand
, I think the
entrepreneurs especially food companies must have a responsibility Correct article usage
apply
by considering
about ingredients in their products. Change preposition
to consider
For example
, Some modern food companies use safe artificial sweeteners instead
of cane sugar
to support the demand of people
who are on a diet period or people
who have a healthy lifestyle, which is an alternative to consuming sugars to
consumers.
In conclusion, Change preposition
for
health
issues especially high blood sugar
are important problems that were not solved by one organisation or only food manufacturers. The governments should be focused and concentrate on people
's health
by providing knowledge and information about healthcare and offering some alternative methods to sweets-addicted people
in their country as well.Submitted by matty10
on
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Task Response
When discussing causes of an unhealthy lifestyle, it's important to identify various factors. Here, you centered mainly on sugar. While the essay focused directly on the task, you could expand on other health issues related to sugar consumption to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, it's crucial to use smoother transitions between paragraphs and within them. This can help the essay flow better. Phrases such as 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the contrary,' can be used more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
The main points could be supported with more specific examples or data that emphasize your stance. Using more concrete evidence or citing studies can fortify your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion are present, offering a good summary and effectively wrapping up the essay.
Task Response
The essay reflects thoughtful engagement with the topic, offering multiple reasons for the standpoint taken.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a logical flow to how ideas are presented, even if transitions could be smoother.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.