Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.
Many college
students
are keen to take many courses other than their core subjects
, while
some people think that it is more
essential to maximize their efforts in achieving a certain level of qualification. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Although
people may obtain various knowledge
by taking additional subjects
, those who maintain their attention for a certification is
more likely to get recruited as professionals. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
Therefore
, I firmly believe that focusing to get mastered in
one particular subject will be more beneficial for university Wrong verb form
on mastering
students
.
On the one hand, learning various kinds of lessons may broaden their capabilities. Students
able to get introduced to several experts in many kinds of fields, which might Add a verb
Students are
Students were
beneficial
to Add a missing verb
be beneficial
fulfill
their Change the spelling
fulfil
knowledge
in wide
range of courses. To illustrate, those who learn accounting, literature and geography altogether might gain a lot of materials related to those chosen Add an article
a wide
subjects
since they have the chance to learn from the experts of each module. As a result
, they tend to have the
general Correct article usage
a
knowledge
of each subject.
However
, it is more
essential for learners to focus on studying for a qualification in order to Correct quantifier usage
apply
get
Verb problem
apply
specialized
in a specific industry. Having a specialization in a certain field Wrong verb form
specialise
tend
to make Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
students
becoming
Verb problem
apply
a
potential Correct article usage
apply
candidate
to get hired by employers Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
due to
their specific skills compared to the other candidates. For example
, those who became a certified public accountant will have a higher opportunity to become an associate in a well-known public accounting firm rather than those who did not.
In conclusion, I tend to believe that it is better for students
to maximize their efforts in studying a certain course in order to be specialized in that field of knowledge
, instead
of choosing to learn many subjects
. Although
they might still managed
to gain Change the verb form
manage
be managed
knowledge
by studying many subjects
at once, being qualified on
a specific field might be more Change preposition
in
favorable
to industries.Change the spelling
favourable
Submitted by michellyonggo on
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task
Your essay clearly discusses both views and provides a well-structured argument for your opinion. However, you could enhance the Task Response by including more specific examples or statistical data to support your points.
coherence
Your ideas are logically structured, and the essay flows well. Nevertheless, it can be improved by using more linking phrases and avoiding repetition of words and phrases.
cohesion
Try to refine your transitions between points. While you’ve used linking words like 'however' and 'for example', incorporating a bit more variety and smooth transitions could improve readability.
task
The essay is clear, well-structured, and answers the question effectively.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purposes well, providing a clear starting point and a strong ending to the essay.
support
Your main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic.
clarity
You have written comprehensive, clear ideas that are easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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