Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
#countries #amounts #money #world #events #olympic #games #football #cup #monies #children #sports #age
In these
days most Change preposition
These
of
countries spend huge Change preposition
apply
amouts
of money Correct your spelling
amounts
world
sporting events Change preposition
on world
such
as the Olympic Games and football
Correct article usage
the football
World
Cup. But other people think support
young children Wrong verb form
supporting
to motivate
them to do their best.
Change the verb form
motivates
Generally
most of the Add a comma
Generally,
goverment speng enoumous
money Correct your spelling
government spend enormous
Olympic
games which Change preposition
on Olympic
makes
humans angry and Correct subject-verb agreement
make
make
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makes
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a differences
differences
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difference
with
people. Take a look at my home country Azerbaijan`s Goverment seperate more than 10 Change preposition
between
billions
Change to singular
billion
dollor
Games between 2015-2020. They are so Correct your spelling
dollar
dollars
many
money why they can do Correct quantifier usage
much
this
. one
of the most Correct word choice
important reason
reason
is Azerbaijan Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
was
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is
knowned
in the Correct your spelling
known
world
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described that It jumped up tourism high level. On Correct your spelling
statistic
statistics
this
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it plays Add a comma
ground,
big
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a big
countruies
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countries
On the other hand
half of Correct article usage
the polulations
polulations
opinions can support young ages. They are our future. Ones can Correct your spelling
populations
population
make
Verb problem
conduct
investigatons
Correct your spelling
investigations
investigators
in
their Change preposition
into
tenegers
and Correct your spelling
teenagers
are
made them Wrong verb form
be
internationl
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international
world
. In
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An
famous
proverb says Children are our future and our future depends on them.
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apply
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all,
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pick
one
opinin
which is good or bad. They are connected Correct your spelling
opinion
each
other and Change preposition
to each
represents
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represent
one
another. One
of the main idea
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ideas
to
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is to
both
Change preposition
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.Fix the agreement mistake
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Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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coherence cohesion
The essay requires more clarity in expressing ideas. Try to organize your thoughts in a clear and systematic way: start with an introduction that presents the topic and your opinion, followed by body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea supported with relevant examples, and end with a conclusion that summarizes your points.
task achievement
Work on providing specific examples to support your points. Your essay would benefit from concrete instances that illustrate the possible benefits of hosting big sports events or investing in youth sports development.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Simple mistakes can sometimes distract from the meaning of your arguments. Consider reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing editing and revising your work.
coherence cohesion
There are some issues with sentence structure and word choice throughout the essay that need attention. Try to use a variety of sentence types to improve flow and engagement in your writing.
task achievement
The essay topic is well recognized and there is an attempt to address both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Including a proverb is a nice touch and adds a cultural perspective to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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