Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In these
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These

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days most
of
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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countries spend huge
amouts
Correct your spelling
amounts

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of money
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
world
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on world

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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sporting events
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as the Olympic Games and
football
Correct article usage
the football

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World
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Cup. But other people think
support
Wrong verb form
supporting

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb support. Consider changing it.

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young children
to motivate
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motivates

To motivate doesn’t seem to work here.

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them to do their best.
Generally
Add a comma
Generally,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Generally. Consider adding a comma.

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most of the
goverment speng enoumous
Correct your spelling
government spend enormous

The words goverment speng enoumous seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

money
Olympic
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on Olympic

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games which
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make

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humans angry and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes

It seems that the verb make does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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Correct article usage
a differences
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Correct article usage
a differences

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
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with
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between

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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people. Take a look at my home country Azerbaijan`s Goverment seperate more than 10
billions
Change to singular
billion

It appears that the number billions is modifying a noun and should be in the singular form. Consider changing it.

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dollor
Correct your spelling
dollar
dollars

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Games between 2015-2020. They are so
many
Correct quantifier usage
much

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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money why they can do
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

.
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the most
Correct word choice
important reason
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Correct word choice
important reason

There may be an adjective issue here.

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reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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is Azerbaijan
was
Wrong verb form
is

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb was. Consider changing it.

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knowned
Correct your spelling
known

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in the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, Ans
statictic
Correct your spelling
statistic
statistics

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described that It jumped up tourism high level. On
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

ground
Add a comma
ground,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase On this ground. Consider adding a comma.

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it plays
big
Add an article
a big

The noun phrase big role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role in
countruies
Correct your spelling
countries

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well-known.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

half of
Correct article usage
the polulations
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Correct article usage
the polulations

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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polulations
Correct your spelling
populations
population
opinions can support young ages. They are our future. Ones can
make
Verb problem
conduct

There may be a verb use issue here.

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investigatons
Correct your spelling
investigations
investigators

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in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their
tenegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers

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and
are
Wrong verb form
be

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

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made them
internationl
Correct your spelling
international

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player in the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
In
Correct your spelling
An

The word In doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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Azerbaijani
famous
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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proverb says Children are our future and our future depends on them. All in
all
Add a comma
all,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase All in all. Consider adding a comma.

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we can`t
pic
Correct your spelling
pick

The word pic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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up
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

opinin
Correct your spelling
opinion

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which is good or bad. They are connected
each
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to each

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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other and
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent

It seems that the verb represents does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

another.
One
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of the main
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas

It seems that idea may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
Add a missing verb
is to

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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keep balance
both
Change preposition
on both

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides

It seems that side may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.

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coherence cohesion
The essay requires more clarity in expressing ideas. Try to organize your thoughts in a clear and systematic way: start with an introduction that presents the topic and your opinion, followed by body paragraphs that each discuss a single main idea supported with relevant examples, and end with a conclusion that summarizes your points.
task achievement
Work on providing specific examples to support your points. Your essay would benefit from concrete instances that illustrate the possible benefits of hosting big sports events or investing in youth sports development.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Simple mistakes can sometimes distract from the meaning of your arguments. Consider reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing editing and revising your work.
coherence cohesion
There are some issues with sentence structure and word choice throughout the essay that need attention. Try to use a variety of sentence types to improve flow and engagement in your writing.
task achievement
The essay topic is well recognized and there is an attempt to address both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Including a proverb is a nice touch and adds a cultural perspective to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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