IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People leaving in the 21st century have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous times

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Today
people’
Change noun form
people’s
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 quality of
life
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
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 improved in many ways
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 to the past centuries.
New
Add an article
A new
The new
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 era of technology has certainly brought different initiatives taken by the government to improve people’s standards of living. I firmly advocate that the statement is true.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, technological advancements have revolutionized many aspects of
life
Use synonyms
, leading to more comfort and convenience.
For instance
Linking Words
, the advent of smartphones
have
Change the verb form
has
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 not only simplified the terms of staying in touch
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 reduced the feeling of being isolated compared to the past. With only a few touches on screens, people can effortlessly connect with their friends or loved ones across the entire globe.
This
Linking Words
 level of connection was unimaginable only a few decades ago allowing a new generation
build
Fix the infinitive
to build
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 stronger relationships. Healthcare
concept
Fix the agreement mistake
concepts
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had
Wrong verb form
have
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also
Linking Words
 played a crucial part in the enhanced quality of
life
Use synonyms
 in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
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 century,
such
Linking Words
 as extended
life
Use synonyms
 expectancy. Global medical breakthroughs and new advanced technology have improved humanity’s
overall
Linking Words
 well-being. Many people have access to better healthcare facilities,
treatments
Correct word choice
and treatments
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 and with growing awareness of health issues, necessary measures have become widespread throughout the world.
For instance
Linking Words
, there have been several epidemics throughout history
such
Linking Words
 as cholera,
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
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 flu and other diseases, where
fatality
Correct article usage
the fatality
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 rate was high.
However
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 new medical advancements, these diseases have been exterminated from the planet. Recent events, like COVID-19, have proved that the world is better prepared to handle pandemic situations with efficiency in developing vaccines. In conclusion,
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
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 century has undeniably a better
life
Use synonyms
 quality compared to past centuries. Digitalization brought people together by stimulating connection,
while
Linking Words
 medical care
have
Change the verb form
has
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 altered dramatically in many ways.

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logical structure
To improve the logical structure of the essay, consider using a clearer outline in each paragraph. For instance, begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that succinctly states the main point.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although your main ideas are generally clear, further development and elaboration are needed to ensure they are as comprehensive as possible. Consider providing additional examples or explanations to support your points.
logical structure
Work on using a wider variety of linking words and transitions to enhance the flow of your essay and connect your ideas more seamlessly.
relevant specific examples
You skillfully included relevant, specific examples to support your points, particularly in the discussion about healthcare advancements and medical breakthroughs.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the main arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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