People leaving in the 21st century have a better quality of life than people who lived in previous times

Today
people’
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people’s
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quality of
life
have
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has
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improved in many ways
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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to the past centuries.
New
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A new
The new
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era of technology has certainly brought different initiatives taken by the government to improve people’s standards of living. I firmly advocate that the statement is true.
To begin
with, technological advancements have revolutionized many aspects of
life
, leading to more comfort and convenience.
For instance
, the advent of smartphones
have
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has
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not only simplified the terms of staying in touch
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
reduced the feeling of being isolated compared to the past. With only a few touches on screens, people can effortlessly connect with their friends or loved ones across the entire globe.
This
level of connection was unimaginable only a few decades ago allowing a new generation
build
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to build
show examples
stronger relationships. Healthcare
concept
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concepts
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
have
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also
played a crucial part in the enhanced quality of
life
in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
show examples
century,
such
as extended
life
expectancy. Global medical breakthroughs and new advanced technology have improved humanity’s
overall
well-being. Many people have access to better healthcare facilities,
treatments
Correct word choice
and treatments
show examples
and with growing awareness of health issues, necessary measures have become widespread throughout the world.
For instance
, there have been several epidemics throughout history
such
as cholera,
spanish
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Spanish
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flu and other diseases, where
fatality
Correct article usage
the fatality
show examples
rate was high.
However
,
due to
new medical advancements, these diseases have been exterminated from the planet. Recent events, like COVID-19, have proved that the world is better prepared to handle pandemic situations with efficiency in developing vaccines. In conclusion,
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
century has undeniably a better
life
quality compared to past centuries. Digitalization brought people together by stimulating connection,
while
medical care
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
altered dramatically in many ways.
Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on

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logical structure
To improve the logical structure of the essay, consider using a clearer outline in each paragraph. For instance, begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that succinctly states the main point.
clear comprehensive ideas
Although your main ideas are generally clear, further development and elaboration are needed to ensure they are as comprehensive as possible. Consider providing additional examples or explanations to support your points.
logical structure
Work on using a wider variety of linking words and transitions to enhance the flow of your essay and connect your ideas more seamlessly.
relevant specific examples
You skillfully included relevant, specific examples to support your points, particularly in the discussion about healthcare advancements and medical breakthroughs.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the main arguments effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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