It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. To what extent do you agree?

#space #cities

As the number of population grows rapidly, cities have become densely populated.

Consequently

, some

people

argue that it is important to use

space

wisely, even though others think that making cities beautiful is

also

crucial.

Nonetheless

, I agree that maximizing cities’ spaces is far superior for some reasons that are set out below.

Firstly

, using

city

space

will help reduce overcrowding

space

This

happens as many

people

move to the

city

to find a more convenient living place and get some benefits of having easier access to public facilities.

Thus

, by constructing high-rise buildings,

for example

, Hong Kong has many high apartments, allowing

people

to live in small areas which

also

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

comfort to them and can accommodate more

people

Secondly

, by using

space

efficiently, it is good for the environment. Most apartments have a park for spending time with families doing picnics and sports,

take

Verb problem

apply

show examples

an example walking or cycling.

In addition

, trees and plants absorb carbon dioxide that releases oxygen, making the air cleaner and healthier. Other than that,

this

kind of

city

design can enhance the emotional well-being of the habitat because there are more spaces for entertainment. In conclusion, using

city

space

well is crucial to stop overcrowded living spaces, improve health protect the environment,

as well as

enhancing emotional well-being.

Submitted by kelly on Tue Jul 09 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Although the introduction presents the thesis statement, it would benefit from being more concise and directly addressing the prompt. Consider revising for greater clarity and precision.

logical structure

While the structure logically flows from one idea to the next, strengthening the link between specific examples and main points can provide clearer transitions. Ensure each paragraph reinforces your main argument seamlessly.

clear comprehensive ideas

Expand on the ideas presented to provide greater depth. While the points made are relevant, delving deeper into each concept with more detailed examples and explanations will enhance your essay's overall coherence and thoroughness.

relevant specific examples

The essay provides relevant and specific examples that effectively support the main points, particularly in discussing the benefits of high-rise buildings and green spaces.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main arguments, reiterating the key points made throughout the text.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

215 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is more important to use the space in cities well than make them look beautiful. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true?

Newspapers have immense influence on people why? Is it a positive or negative situation?

Some people say history is one the most important school subjects. Other people think that in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.