Some people believe that increasing prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime rates, while others think that finding alternative solutions is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #prison #sentences #crime #rates #alternative

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Prison

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is the best solution for gathering

criminals

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, especially with the significant increase in

crime

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rates

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. Which presents the argument of either increasing

prison

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sentences or finding other solutions to fight

crime

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rates

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. In my opinion, I believe that finding other solutions is more efficient for fighting

crime

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rates

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. Some people view that longer

prison

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sentences have a greater impact on

crime

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numbers.

This

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view can be justified by thinking that

criminals

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will rot in

prison

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leaving them hopeless after getting out. Staying in the same place for a great amount of time will have an impact on one's behaviour. Which could teach them how to hold themselves in many situations.

Additionally

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, they could think that staying in

prison

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for

such

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a long period of time will make them question their actions and impact other people by spreading the fear of being kept in

prison

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for years.

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While others

Correct word choice

Others

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think that finding alternative ways is a better

option

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which I completely agree with. The first

option

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could be efficient.

However

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, it won't enhance productivity among those

criminals

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. Things

such

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as allowing

criminals

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to work in certain fields and aspects of life could teach them a lesson.

Furthermore

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, when they blend in with society the number of moments of realisation that they will be caught by will make them even better individuals. They are even more exposed to severe internal imbalance if they are in

prison

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than trying to blend with society. Which makes it a better

option

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in reducing

crime

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rates

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. In conclusion, finding alternative ways

instead

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of increasing

prison

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sentences is a better

option

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to reduce

crime

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rates

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. Especially the trigger of the mental conditions a criminal might face

while

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being in

prison

Use synonyms

Submitted by hamdanaldehaihani37 on Wed Jul 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Strengthen the introduction. While it briefly mentions the two views, it makes a sudden shift to your opinion. Provide a clearer outline of the structure of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure consistency in transitions. Some paragraphs contain small pauses that break the flow—streaks of disjointed phrases can be unified smoothly.

task achievement

Support your points with more specific, real-life examples to make the arguments more compelling. It helps to concretize general ideas.

task achievement

Clarify and expand on the reasoning behind your viewpoint: explain why alternatives to prison may foster reform more effectively, using studies or cases if possible.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main stance and reinforces the opinion articulated in the essay.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates a balanced discussion by presenting arguments for both views, reflecting an understanding of the issue.

task achievement

The language used is clear and relatively easy to follow, which aids in understanding your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Some people believe that increasing prison sentences is the best way to reduce crime rates, while others think that finding alternative solutions is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

19.Some people think that museums and art galleries should concentrate on showing local works rather than the cultures or artworks from other parts of the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there are only small differences in earning between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?