In spite of improvement in the healthcare by governments many people in developed countries are suffering from overweight and obesity. What are the causes of this and what other the impacts?

#spite #improvement #healthcare #governments #people #countries #obesity #impacts

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These days,

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

sectors

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sector

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has been improving tremendously. than ever before.

However

Linking Words

, a large number of the population in

first-tier

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the first-tier

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world are

affecting

Wrong verb form

affected

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from

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show examples

overweight and

Use synonyms

obesity

Replace the word

obese

show examples

even if they have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better healthcare amenities

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than

show examples

the ministry. A lack of physical exercise

coupled with

Linking Words

eating junk

foods

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are the stems for

this

Linking Words

phenomenon; There are some effects of

this

Linking Words

situation

bring

Verb problem

apply

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct word choice

and this

show examples

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. There are two causes that bring

this

Linking Words

tendency; one of the key reasons is that mankind who

lives

Correct subject-verb agreement

live

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in developed nations

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

neither

carrys

Correct your spelling

carries

carry

Physical activities nor sports,

consequently

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this

Linking Words

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

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to gaining weight. Western Countries humankind do not have

interest

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an interest

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to maintain

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in maintaining

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their body

body

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apply

show examples

in fit,

besides

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they usually go to pups

enjoy

Correct word choice

and enjoy

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themselves. Another Vital cause is

that

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apply

show examples

eating junk

foods

Use synonyms

and soft drinks frequently

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apply

show examples

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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and

all meals

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every meal

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as a consequence

Linking Words

, People suffer

Use synonyms

obesity

Change preposition

from obesity

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issues; the main reason

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apply

show examples

they eat Pocket foodstuff, which Price is not expensive. Taking Australia,

for example

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, McDonalt's dead

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

foods

Use synonyms

are inexpensive, a burger price is just 2 AUD.

Hence

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, they eat often these

foods

Use synonyms

and

gaining

Verb problem

become

show examples

overweight. There are some impacts of

this

Linking Words

phenomenon. People who are

being

Verb problem

apply

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overweight always

bully

Wrong verb form

bullied

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from

Change preposition

show examples

others who

Wrong verb form

are

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slim,

this

Linking Words

mostly happens in high

Schools

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School

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; bullying can affect

Pshycologically

Correct your spelling

psychologically

For instance

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new research, at present, research has found 45% of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

high

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

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students

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

affected

Pshycologically

Correct your spelling

Psychologically

because of bullying,

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

being overweight

Also

Linking Words

obesity

Use synonyms

can lead to getting more deadly diseases

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apply

show examples

humans,

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means individuals will acquire numerous diseases

such

Linking Words

as heart stroke, heart attack and diabetic type 2. Ergo, being

Use synonyms

obesity

Replace the word

obese

show examples

and overweight

bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

more toxic effects. In Conclusion, developed countries have modernized healthcare

Correct your spelling

even though

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

their citizens are Suffering

obesity

Use synonyms

issue because of a lack of exercise

along with

Linking Words

eat

Change the verb form

eating

show examples

more junk

foods

Use synonyms

frequently.

Its

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

connect

Correct subject-verb agreement

connects

show examples

to many deadly illnesses

as well

Linking Words

Correct word choice

and

show examples

people can

affect

Wrong verb form

be affected

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

bullying are the effects of

this

Linking Words

situation.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Wed Jul 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will improve readability and coherence.

task achievement

Ensure all your main points are adequately supported with detailed evidence. This helps strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Consider merging or linking sentences for better flow and to avoid repetition, especially in the body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

You introduced the topic clearly and provided a reasonable structure for discussion.

task achievement

You identified and explained key causes and impacts of obesity in developed countries.

task achievement

You included specific examples to support your points, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

331 words

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In spite of improvement in the healthcare by governments many people in developed countries are suffering from overweight and obesity. What are the causes of this and what other the impacts?

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message? ive reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own nowledge or experience.

Your next door neighbour owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbour requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: • Your reason for writing • What you would like to happen • A nice, respectful style.

You are get home and have a problem with a peace abhi equipment that you use for a job at a letter to the shop or company with supplied the equipment in your letter describe the problem with a equipment explain how problem is affecting your life say what you want to shop or company to do

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?