In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In some commercials, seller nowadays usually underline that their products are innovative in some way,
this
has a positive effect on Correct word choice
and this
development
of businesses. Add an article
the development
While
this
development bring
a lot of benefits, I believe it has a major Change the verb form
brings
negavtive
effect. Correct your spelling
negative
This
essay shed light on both perspectives along with
my opinion in the upcoming paragraph.
To commence with, advertise
plays a vital role in Change the form of the verb
advertising
development
of businesses. A very important point to consider that Add an article
the development
advertise
to attract Replace the word
advertising
customers
. This
means that increments in sales. To illustrate this
point, I would like to mention that every time a new product is released by Apple, new innovative
Replace the word
innovations
such
as structure and shape are changed to attract customers
. Some businesses have succeeded in growing their market sales through this
kind of advertisement. Another point I would like to make this
that the company ought to differentiate its products. This
is because
the fact that Add the preposition
because of
create
unique characteristics to stand out in the market and Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
competitions
.
On the flip side, Fix the agreement mistake
competition
this
approach has had such
an immense influence on Correct quantifier usage
apply
customers
. They encounter the reality of the quality of goods different from advertising and has also
become the source of tremedous
controversy. A good example of that comes to mind Correct your spelling
tremendous
the
quality of goods Add a missing verb
is the
customers
order online will be different from the quality we see in the photos. Furthermore
, this
problem needs solution
to change, Add an article
a solution
instead
just
advertising
In conclusion, these days many companies are Change preposition
of just
focusig
on new Correct your spelling
focusing
focused
product
as they provide a new Fix the agreement mistake
products
experimence
to the Correct your spelling
experience
customers
to stand out from the competitors. The trend would beneficial
Add a missing verb
be beneficial
it
companies could make high-quality items Correct your spelling
if
instead
of developing marketing.Submitted by quynhtranhbh on
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coherence
The introduction is clear in its intention but could be more explicitly structured. Adding a clear thesis statement at the end of the introduction that outlines your main points would improve coherence.
coherence
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that supporting details are well-organized. Some of the ideas in the essay are a bit disjointed, making it difficult to follow the argument.
cohesion
Addressing both sides of the argument is good, but ensure there are more explicit connections between ideas. Transitional phrases and linking words can help in achieving this.
cohesion
Some phrases and sentences could be rephrased to avoid confusion. Ensure each sentence clearly conveys its intended meaning. For instance, 'This means that increments in sales' can be rephrased to 'This results in increased sales.'
task achievement
While relevant examples are used, further specificity and clarity in examples provided would strengthen your argument. For example, explain what specific innovative features in Apple's products attract customers.
task achievement
Ensure grammatical correctness and clarity. For example, 'tremedous' should be 'tremendous', and 'advertise' should be 'advertisement' in some contexts.
task achievement
The conclusion needs to be more comprehensive, summarizing the main points discussed in the essay. A stronger concluding statement would leave a better impression.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic by analyzing both the positive and negative aspects of advertising new features in products.
The use of a
task achievement
The essay includes clear examples, such as the reference to Apple, which helps to illustrate the point being made.
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